Michael A. Hampu

Livin' the Dream!
Father, Husband, Son, Brother, and Friend, any other hats/titles I have don't matter all that much.

I want to coach ⚾ once I don't need $$$!

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

Focused on P Nov '19, March '22 through now in the KJCCC:
IP = 17
K = 28 (11 K-L)
Strikes = 60.6%
SM % = 14.58%
T 95 MPH, sits low 9s ⛽⛽⛽
Age = 19 and 9 months
Future is bright

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@pitchingschool This literally is the reason my son played baseball in college and got drafted, without you doing this, he isn’t where he is now, especially considering Covid shut down his senior year of HS

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@grok @wrong_speak @grok nothing about Jordan’s father gambling. BTW Jordan is by far the GOAT

[FanGraphs Baseball @fangraphs]

Colorado Rockies Top 44 Prospects https://t.co/7Tt7UrJyfv

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@tha_buffalo “Destroyed Watson”. He was destroyed when they signed him

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@JaydenLibran @NonsenseEnd There is also no restaurant called Lakeside Grill in NE Ohio

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@blakestbanter How do I watch the Rockies MiLB teams? I used the MLB app last year and was able to watch every Grizzlies game

[Fresno Grizzlies @FresnoGrizzlies]

A different angle of last night's final pitch in front of over 10,500 fans 🎉

[Fresno Grizzlies @FresnoGrizzlies]

Hampu slams the door with a 1, 2, 3 inning 🔥

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@SharpFootball Defense only gave up 19 points in the year but your QB throws a pick 6 (errors) and the offense hasn’t scored a touchdown

[Blake Street Banter ⚾🌮 @blakestbanter]

Tyler Hampu was electric in his relief outing tonight. #Rockies #GsUp

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@ASUNSports @JUBaseball @GovsBSB Bang

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@____selah I’m your huckleberry

[Fresno Grizzlies @FresnoGrizzlies]

Pitcher's best friend.

Tyler Hampu induces the 8th inning double play.

Grizzlies carry a three-run lead into the ninth.

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@NationalAware Just certain cities, other cities, people get shot in self defense, vote appropriately

[Blake Street Banter ⚾🌮 @blakestbanter]

Tyler Hampu had a shutdown relief outing tonight.

The former @GovsBSB standout could become quite the gem for the #Rockies

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@DNVR_Rockies Cleveland fan but my son is in the Rockies org so I’ve been following along, I think Cleveland got the better deal here

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@DEvanAltman @pitchingschool I also told him to believe in himself because I did and by the time everyone else believes in you, it is because YOU are already there

[Michael A. Hampu @hampu17]

@DEvanAltman @pitchingschool Mike is talking about my son, I didn’t agree with the decision and what I told my son was be so good they have no choice but to keep you, “borderline” allows them to decide who they want and who they don’t for whatever reason they want, that team won states the year he was cut.

[RotoWear @RotoWear]

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