Michael Hamslamwich

Sports, DJ’ing, rollerblading and stuff.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Michael has added Cristian Mingle skills to his LinkedIn resume.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

HELP! My batshit, uninteresting, unsubstantiated takes on everything are being silenced everywhere!

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

What’s the secret of these young 20s people looking so fit?

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

The best revenge is massive pecs.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Writing a juicy tell-all cookbook

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

@michaelbsacks I’m mediating for godsake

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

What’s it to you if Jesus had a really good body?

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

The revolution will be zoned for duplexes.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

rallies, not research.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Gawd I miss American interventionism.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

This Tommy Bahama sale has been an emotional rollercoaster.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Doing something pretty masculine right now.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Weird. Expected to see more celebs flying redeye from Joplin to Grand Rapids via Spirit $1 fare club last night.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Shotgunnin Coors with pj squi and boomer sobbing to that lee Greenwood sung and just fuckin glad I don’t live in socialism cannada where they dont fly the real American flag but just do healthcare n school supplies for someone else’s kid and stuff 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Positioning the cam so my zoom calls include my bobble head collection.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Makings cheese dip and auditing the 1992 election results.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Thinking of all the amazing dads out there who are balancing the demands of a secret family this Mother’s Day.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Can’t believe the worlds richest couples aren’t happy!!

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

Had that dream again where I'm falling and get a pretty fat court settlement.

[Michael Hamslamwich @hamslamwiches]

This pandemic has been tough. And the only way it is going to end is if you, me, and everyone we know, come together and drink a cocktail,15 straws from a single carved out coconut at a island themed indoor bar with license plates for decor.