retired kim heejae apologist

he‘s on his own at this point i can‘t defend him anymore

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

and then he squirted when heejae was gentle with him... youngjo used to always point out how sensitive garam is and how gentle touching already stimulates him a lot, so I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually/naturally like it rough but wanted to please heejae

[sky 💌 @hangaramlover]

i’ve just been thinking about that chapter where garam is begging heejae to be rougher with him during sex because “don’t worry i like it :)” and he couldn’t even finish because he needed the intensity. he gave so much of himself away and bent so much to heejae’s whims.

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

thinking of the moment Garam thought Heejae and him were alike in their loneliness when he saw him perform Chopin. but Garam felt lonely at this point because of Heejae. and Heejae felt lonely ALSO because of Heejae… so the vulnerability Garam saw was a projection of his own

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

for no fucking reason, like we literally as a reader don't get a reason why Heejae is allergic to saying "I love you" specifically. He is able to show love through actions and he also indirectly confirms that he loves Garam when asked, he just refuses to say the words

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

Garam at some point stopped asking for an apology and tried to make Heejae say that he loves him. so Garam was ready to move on from looking back and demanding an apology for the past but when he asked for reassurance for their future together Heejae was too stubborn for that

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

the underworld to die. but now in season 6 garam finds himself in the depth of the underworld but no one to offer to walk right into it to get him out of there.

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

sometimes i interpret NME in a way that Garam is Orpheus and Heejae is Eurydice. Garam pulled Heejae out of the depth of the underworld -> loveless loneliness. he never looked back at the past and how Heejae treated him, he only ever cared about the love and what could +

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

the urge to look back got too strong, Garam didnt care about the past as long as he had no doubts that Heejae loves him. the second he couldnt shake that doubt anymore the curtain lifted, Garam looked back and lost his love and the relationship ended. he left Heejae in +

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

it is an interesting point of view that we as the reader mostly think we're getting a glimpse into moments of their life in real time but that from the start it was mostly a retelling by (probably) Garam who is writing his experience down or talks to someone about it

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

idk if anyone has noticed or pointed it out yet, but at the beginning of chapter 3 Garam as ne narrator says smth like "that was the moment it all began."
so NME is a retelling of their story and might end in the present. season 6 should take place close to our real time line

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

i understood it as a bait and switch at the beginning of the new season to make us think it could be Garam who still has a career (maybe it was even a dream he woke up from) but it isn't him, it's just someone living his dream while he's depressed and lost his passion

[ari oswo🗞️ @diffdaysmdmbtch]

i wonder, what’s happening here, initially i thought this was garam(i got humiliated badly) then i thought this was heejae, but wont there be a scar? i have a coke rant that maybe this is a new student of heejae?? seems far fetched, i know i just randomly thought about it

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

@morgfisher ok fam thnx for the heads up i will NOT look into the server today i will save that menty b for tomorrow

[dinky dong @dinky_dong]

Now that garam doesn’t play music heejae can’t love him for his sound he has to love him as a human loves another human… BDK your mind……

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

ok i just remembered that Garam was properly introduced to alcohol by Heejae, who even told him, to only ever drink when he‘s with him. Garam then understood why people drink: it slows down time. initially to be able to properly experience music, but now it's to dwell in misery

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

Garam‘s whole career and his whole way of playing, interpreting music, loving, fucking and even experiencing the world were intervowen with Heejae. Whereas Heejae lived a whole life on his own before Garam and has his own career and own relationship with the world around him

[saikyo(상태이상:에술충) @0401_0505]

다죽자

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

remember the music students who were completely star struck meeting him… he even had fans!!! but in every interview he gave he had to talk about Heejae and i suppose he couldn’t even stomach the thought of going through that ever again

[Ian🎵💿 @zullude]

Garam was also quite popular in general, he played in very big venues and went on mutiple tours he’s also a star that gave up on his fame

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

new NME chapters release in the afternoon where i live so i think from now on i unfortunately would have to finish my work day before reading a new chapter bc it WILL derail my day thank you for understanding and respecting me and my family's privacy at a time like this

[와누(에술충) @wanuwagu]

잘먹고잘자고잘싸고잘웃고천사같��내아기돼지돌려내김희재이씹새끼야

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

the more i think about it the more it makes sense. we got a few intimate chapters of yeongjo's upbringing and situation with his parents so why would he be dropped so suddenly? i hope this horny bisexual will come to the rescue i dont think garam could do it by himself

[retired kim heejae apologist @hanblaski]

ok what if Yeongjo who’s mom stopped playing violin because she got him and who was tempting people to quit their passions will be the one who help Garam to get over his depression and start playing the piano again