hannah ★

just throw me overboard

[Union @yumtapwater]

Maybe your cat is meowing because it wants to move to Minnesota

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

No ma’am, I don’t have a boarding pass. I’m simply here to enjoy the world famous dining and nightlife at O’Hare International Airport

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

[yelling into your ear at a loud bar] I said, “I wish harm upon you bro!”

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

food and drinks consumed in a movie theater doesn’t really go into your body. it goes into your movie theater body which is separate & holy and harm-proof

[hannah ★ @hanhoefs]

@GfedGoCrazy my mom has the LeeAnn Chin home cookbook ♡

[chad @chasedbywasps]

I met my wife on MyChart

[roxy demento @falseroxy]

you can take a bone-in skin-on chicken thigh on a pretty long walk before you have to start heading back

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket" Well I just have the one egg

[hannah ★ @hanhoefs]

@abookofsymbols @visceralscenery actually, the worst case scenario is that after you have one drink you have to have another and then you’re out $40

[hannah ★ @hanhoefs]

@kristinatastic - patients zero
- femmes fatale
- ports of call
- times out

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

I was doing like an advanced kind of joke where it isnt funny

[Kae ‎‎‎ @Jolly_Blaziken]

You can tell people who say "sorry for the late reply" weeks after someone texted them think they deserve to live

[ً @NotJosephGarcia]

You don’t need to wash your water bottle or your bed sheets or anything. Everything will eventually become clean because of a great big fire

[limpkin @acealeam]

birders be like i have to study i have A vacation coming up

[rosie @snailtattoo]

What Are You Suppsoed To Do In Your Twenties When Everyone Around You Suddenly Seems To Be In Love

[Perfume Genius @perfumegenius]

Does anyone know a good movie about perverse female sexuality and the world of classical music

[alex forrest @ALEXF0RREST]

sometimes i struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies

[Robert Wright @robertwrighter]

It took about three seconds for the masked ICE agent who approached Renee Good's car to escalate from "Get out of the car" to "Get out of the fucking car!" It was when he reached her car and immediately grabbed her door handle (at the moment he said 'fucking car') that she started to back up. Now imagine that he'd acted like a real cop is trained to act--walked up to her (open) window and engaged in civil conversation (maybe saying, Ma'am, could you please get out of the car?). And imagine he hadn't been wearing a mask--and maybe was even dressed more like a police officer, complete with a badge featuring his ID number. Chances are high that Good wouldn't have freaked out and tried to flea. But Trump--and Stephen Miller, who I gather is the de facto head of ICE--have clearly signaled that they not only tolerate but actually applaud thuggish, intimidating behavior directed at Americans who are perceived as Trump's ideological enemies. You won't hear any complaints from them about an armed, masked man dressed like a DIY militiaman yelling "Get out of your fucking car!" at a woman in her thirties who, so far as I can tell, hadn't done anything wrong. (Far from obstructing the agent's pickup truck, she had paused before turning onto the street and politely waved it on, leaving it plenty of room to pass. If it had done so rather than stop, she'd still be alive.) Trump and Miller bear some measure of moral responsibility for the death of Renee Good. And the political reaction against them in the wake of this tragedy should prominently include specific demands about changing the rules of conduct for ICE agents--and also the rules of apparel, starting with a ban on those creepy masks.

[Dr. Alex Zawacki @achillghost]

Is there some sort of astrological reason that Minnesota is the fulcrum of the world recently

[Siddhant Adlakha @SiddhantAdlakha]

Lydia Tár will return in Avengers: Doomsday