Hannah Lin

I have an irrational fear of granddaddy long legs. Not other spiders, just them.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

"Wow he sure is sarcastic, almost in that super mean way... haha yeahhh."

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

"If I were a mobster I'd never go to restaurants, that's where the hits happen!"

"You'd die the first day."

"No I wouldn't! I'd order in."

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

So this is how one of my dreams went last night:

"What are you doing??"

"Jus surfin the web, what'er u doin here?"

"I live here Eric!"

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

"For I am God and you are an asshole! Go in peace! You pieces of shit!"

"Oh, looks like she's off her meds again."

"Figures."

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

I'm lying here in my bed, drifting off to sleep, with my arm outstretched gently holding my jar of Nutella I stole. Yes.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

It's in loving memory for all the faces that were buried there.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

"I did a lil snooping on her insta. She recently posted a vid of her popping bubble wrap. Caption, I love bubble wrap."

"that sneaky bitch"

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

"well you lie a lot"

"what are you, my son?"

"he told me that!"

"I just picked some random kid and told you he was mine!" -my professor

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

"Who's looked me up on Facebook before? Did you see really whack shit?" - my professor

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

"Shmutz alert! Everyone say shmutz." - my Jewish professor during the middle of a lecture.

"Shmutz." - us.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

Guy 1: *psst* over there

Guy 2: what? where's there?

Guy 1: I meant here, sorry I forgot where I was

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

Also it's been almost 16 years since Dinosaur came out. I'm ready for another one to be released now, thanks.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

My day today: Spent 8 hours on campus, drank and drew alone, got told I look bad, cried over my jimmy johns, watched Dinosaur.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

Conway is the asshole of Arkansas.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

I had a nightmare where I was given someone else's order at Waffle House but ate it anyway because I was too embarrassed to say anything.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

Me: Hey I got a great knock knock joke, but you have to start me off.

Them: Ok, knock knock!

Me: Who's there?

Them: *confused silence*

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

I literally just spent the entire day playing my ps4, rewatching gossip girl, and drinking a huuuge bottle of wine. #snowday2015

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

I didn't celebrate the 4th of July yesterday, ironically I'm actually going to do that later today and it's Hawaiian themed.

[Hannah Lin @hannahrin]

Celebrating our independence by doing nothing all day and eating. Like I do everyday, god damn it.