happynewspaper

Informing you for 400+ years at a relatively cheap price. :) :) :) :) :)

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

We are currently putting out your paper for you RIGHT NOW. You are welcome. We apologize if our weather map is 12 hours old.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

HEY EVERYBODY! I just found out you can't, like, buy a fish at a market without me! WOOHOO.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Don't worry. A day after the release of the Eye Pad we're still here! Well, not @sadnewspaper. He committed sepuku.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

And @sadnewspaper's opinion doesn't count. He eats while taking dumps. AND talks on the phone.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Oh neat. But are you going to take the iPad with you while you're shitting?

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

It would seem @sadnewspaper is still hungover from last week. Must've been a hard night in paste-up.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

I think @sadnewspaper is still hungover from his Thursday night binge. We here at @happynewspaper can imbibe without issue.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

I would like to point out that "Who Dat" isn't AP style, so our editorial board is rooting for The Vikings tonight.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Did you read your Sunday paper today? Oh you DID, eh? Yeah. I liked that 1A centerpiece, too. And the ads.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

.@williampd I would only throw up on your shoes, and then apologize for it and write an editorial against shoe throw-upping.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Hey @newspaper_nerd, I like your name. Are you friends with any @newspaper_jocks or @newspaper_cheerleaders?

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Sorry that I haven't updated much today. I was busy writing a scathing editorial about congress/the statehouse/Obama.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

.@mrianthomas @jfleck @acos13 Thank you for saying people should follow me! Mostly because you are CORRECT.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Don't want to pick me up and read it? Okay. You can just read the story for free online! Really! *sniffle*

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Did you REALLY want to sit through that city council meeting? Okay! I'll do it for you.

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Afraid of the Internet and change? I'll be here for you until you die in two years! (please don't die though kthx)

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Hey John Edwards! I bet you now wish you hadn\'t canceled your National Enquirer subscription! Revenge is sweet :)

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Hey @KnightMiami -- Can you give me a grant/VC money so I don't have to sell myself for a living, a la @Publish2?

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Did you know: that @sadnewspaper is full of booze and broken dreams of a book deal?

[happynewspaper @happynewspaper]

Good news about NYTimes.com yesterday, eh? I didn't MIND pulling the Web's weight, but thanks for pitching in!!! :)