Harry Ashcroft

Tech PR professional

[Mike Galsworthy @mikegalsworthy]

Dear Chris Grayling,

I've got a new British business that doesn't do much... but I reckon if I had some submarines and a space programme, I could deffo help you out with Brexit.

It'll cost a bit, mind. But I know you haz a magic money tree for this.

Yours sincerely, Mike

[SUNNYD @sunnydelight]

Lol no

[Harry Ashcroft @harryashcroft]

Merry Christmas from the daily telegraph 🤨🤨

[Faisal Islam @faisalislam]

You can’t seriously have posted your supporters literally blocking an ambulance from Guys and St Thomas’ Hospital on an emergency run. Seriously, @andywigmore ? @arron_banks ?

[Harry Ashcroft @harryashcroft]

“Like catching eels in December”

[Armando Iannucci @Aiannucci]

Can I advise you, if you haven’t already done so, to register to vote? There’s going to be a referendum or general election soon, and you’ll only kick yourself if you don’t.

[Tim Shipman @ShippersUnbound]

BREAKING: the government

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

[Harry Ashcroft @harryashcroft]

Banter

[Sky News @SkyNews]

Dennis Dickey and his wife Rita planned to reveal the sex of their baby by setting off an explosive device filled with coloured powder - it started a wildfire that destroyed 47,000 acres and took 800 firefighters to put out, at a cost of $8.2m

[Armando Iannucci @Aiannucci]

The man who negotiated Brexit resigned today to position himself to lead the party he wants to negotiate against the deal he negotiated.

[Beyond Tomorrow @OrgPhysics]

This cloud formation looks like an AT-AT walker on Hoth.

[Harry Ashcroft @harryashcroft]

@jrpascoe Good comeback.

[Harry Ashcroft @harryashcroft]

@jrpascoe No one cares

[Daniel Powell @danieljpowell]

Not how I expected him to come back but okay.

[Harry Ashcroft @harryashcroft]

@Uber_Support I sent a response well over an hour ago to the customer service function after a delivery driver didn’t turn up (after saying they’d delivered the meal) - I still don’t have my delivery and I have still been charged for it? Refund isn’t sufficient really....

[Harry Ashcroft @harryashcroft]

.@UberEats why don’t you have a phone number to complain

[The INQUIRER @INQ]

Open Xchange Summit: Tim O'Reilly on why good companies go 'bad' https://t.co/vMa0Zx6dlr

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

To be fair to Putin...

Just because one of the men who poisoned the Skripals was a Russian intelligence operator, it does not mean he was acting under orders. He may have really been an architectural tourist, who then decided at the last minute to do some freelance poisoning

[the dead author @thedeadauthor]

A Brief History of Philosophy
1. Socrates deletes his account.
2. Plato posts screenshots of Socrates.
3. Aristotle unfollows Plato.
4. Aquinas retweets Jesus.
5. Descartes mutes Aquinas.
6. Locke mutes Descartes.
7. Kant unfollows Locke and Descartes.
8. Hegel subtweets Kant.