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get at me like

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I swear to god if y’all start wearing capes, cloaks, frocks and the like and act like y’all started that trend Ima lose my shit. I’ve been doing this for DECADES.

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@SorceryTCG Quinton's art is so damn amazing.

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@thrice_greatest Easy. Now name a show with one letter name without looking it up. There's at least a couple. And no RRR doesn't count because its 1 letter three times.

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@elonmuskmel7 2

[Ramen Tatsu-Ya @ramentatsu_ya]

📣 PAGING SHAKEEL! 📣 Can you help us find them?
#ImportantMessageAboutTsukemen

[Ty Horton @SirPresidentty]

All it took to “hack” the Tea app and get all users selfies and drivers licenses. Insane. 🤯

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Maria has been fighting breast cancer, and her journey has been tough. She needs our help with medical costs and daily expenses. Every little bit counts. Please consider donating or sharing. https://t.co/1cFKwYlF4h

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I feel bad for you if you did @23andMe You’ve sentenced your linage forever. You should sue. https://t.co/zj2R9rgkoo

#sue23andme

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I dropped two pant sizes and it didn’t even occur to me till last night after a shower when putting on boxers that that applies to my boxers. Time to re up @Versace

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@roblutter I still drink wine but fuck beer. Hazies gave me moobs and I’m still shedding them.

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I’ve been working on a target weight since I implemented keto to my January detox and I’m officially down 55 pounds today from a XXL to a large. I still have love handles so grab em while you can (please don’t) cause they’re next!

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Wait a got damn minute. @Google’s new quantum chip, Willow, solves complex computations by borrowing from the multiverse???

You’re telling me this is proof of multiple realities, timelines, me & you?!?

https://t.co/F3TyNqPVzQ

Thanks for validating.

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Me to mom: “I’m tryna to hang out with this girl.”
Mom: “Is it a cat?”
Me: “No. She’s a girl.”
Mom: “A girl cat?”

This is what I get for not giving her a grandson.

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@youtubemusic listen again & recently played are the same thing. Get rid of recently played and add “sounds like” to our algorithm instead. I’ve crafted my algorithm since before @YouTube cost money ( when it did it sounded like a pr0n site) #IYKYK
Source: beta tester

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“I’m so glad she has someone to help her.” - mom. “What am I? Chopped liver?” - me. “No, you’re prime liver.” - mom.

#primeliver

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@iluminatibot Bitch! Call the police!

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@namnam2c @MattWallace888 Mandy.

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@BuckRight Egyptians stuff is hidden there.

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Mom found an all Colombo channel and is excited. She’s looking for an all Monk channel. If y’all know about one lemme know. #colombo #monk

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Holy shit. I’ve gotten to live long enough to witness 3 different ambassadors. Can’t wait to see where @Versace goes.

[VERSACE @Versace]

Donatella Versace will assume the role of Chief Brand Ambassador. In her new role, Ms. Versace will dedicate herself to the support of Versace’s philanthropic and charitable endeavors and will remain an advocate for the brand globally.

Portrait by Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott