Top Tweets for #Bigears

A jackrabbit spent tonight trying to get me fired. Three times this long-eared menace exploded out of the grass, cut across my path by about three feet, then stood up on his hind legs like he was dropping a diss track. Zig. Zag. Full “you’re too slow and also a square” energy. Then vanished. I was off leash. Heeling. Professional Good Girl™ mode locked in. I don’t speak fluent jackrabbit, but I’m pretty sure he called me a wimp who couldn’t catch him if dinner depended on it. Sir. I am a Rottweiler. My ancestors pulled butcher carts to market, moved cattle, hauled firewood, looked after the whole family, and guarded the entire operation. We did not become the butcher dogs of Germany so I could get roasted by a rodent with excellent cardio. If we’d chased every fluffy comedian in the grass, nobody would have eaten, the firewood would still be sitting in the woods looking disappointed, and the family would have been unsupervised. Unacceptable. Tease all you want, Mr. Long Ears. Times may have changed but I still have a job. It is not “chase the local stand-up act.” Stay mad. Stay fast. Stay uncaught. #ProfessionalGoodGirl #Rottweiler #NotTodayHare