Top Tweets for #Britishjam
Been a bit of an accident in the warehouse: a shelving unit of Strawberry Delight collapsed with close to 2000 jars destroyed. The floor is sticker than @DamianGreen’s browser history #britishjam
Shove a jam jar up it Boris. What happened to your ‘oven ready deal’?! You’re just a lying sack of the smelly stuff. Even jam won’t be able to save us at this rate #britishjam
As things stand we are still very far apart on key issues. There’s still a deal to be done, but the most likely thing is that we've got to be ready for Australia terms on 1st January.
Go to https://t.co/gxJU2BeRs2 to get prepared.
Dominic Cummings has gone?! Oh no! Whatever shall we do without his genius, integrity, selflessness and charm? Celebratory jam for all! #britishjam #cummings
Well bang goes our celebratory line of Chlorinated Chicken and Bacon flavour Marmalade for 2021 #britishjam
Just a reminder that:
1. Jam is your friend
2. Jam tastes good on anything*
3. Boris Johnson is a fraud who bullied and lied his way into a job he cannot do and is taking his orders from disaster capitalists
4. Marmite is vomit in a jar
*except that, weirdo
#britishjam
Don’t worry: we’re working on an amazing deal for multiple cases of Strawberry Surprise and Raspberry Nipple with The People’s Republic of Kent as we speak #Britishjam
Folks, we need to be thinking of other ways in which jam can save our Great British Economy and we believe our friends at @BuyBritishMilk may have a solution. Who’s up for a lovely jam bath? #Britishjam
Let's put it this way: Japan is one thing but wait until you see what we're cooking up with Swaziland! #britishjam
It’s early doors still and we don’t want you to get your hopes up yet but... we’re on the verge of signing an amazing agreement for four crates of strawberry jam per year with an option for five in the second year with Lesotho! #Economysaved #yourewelcome #britishjam
Good thing your campaign of hate convinced everyone leaving the EU would stop this isn’t it? You’re a lying, inhuman bucket of toss, Farage. No jam for you #britishjam
Another 150 into Dover yesterday.
Hot air and bluster is all we get from the government.
They don't have a plan and so the humiliation will continue.
How much of the taxpayers’ money did you piss away on lies about Brexit?
How much are you spunking up the wall on Cummings’ wages? Essentially using public money to mislead and outright lie to them... and not a single penny of it spent on promoting jam. Prick
#britishjam
The current planning system wastes time and taxpayers’ money.
That’s why we’re going to cut the red tape, overhaul the planning process and build better, greener homes faster.
https://t.co/5sKx8tYIfa
“You can’t be half in the EU & half out” the problem is the Conservatives who lied consistently to the public to bully the WA through, ignored basic facts and are now trying to back peddle and blame someone else for their own mistakes. Shove a jam jar up it, Iain #britishjam
Maybe... and this is just a wild, way out there thought... you pricks should’ve read the thing, allowed for a proper debate and vote before pushing it through and patting yourselves on the back for fucking the country in the wrong’un, Iain. Bet you like marmite too #britishjam
To avoid their own budget black hole, the EU gets £39billion as a “divorce payment” from us, reflecting our share of the current EU budget. But it gets worse. Buried in the fine print, unnoticed by many, is the fact we remain hooked into the EU’s loan book. (2/3)
Stop saying “we” as if there’s collective guilt in this. You and your cockwomble mates bullied us into this and suggested it was amazing. Even jam can’t get us out of the mess you twats have thrown us is #britishjam
Whilst the UK wants to have a good trade relationship with the EU as a sovereign state, the EU has different ideas. They want our money and they want to stop us being a competitor. The Withdrawal Agreement (WA) we signed last year sadly helps them. (1/3)
Idea: Marmite as pizza topping
We know you’ve got a lot vying for your attention but we wanted to remind you of some top Jam facts:
1. Dominic Cummings broke the law and lied about it
2. Neither he or Boris Johnson care about you, your sacrifice or opinion
3. Jam is awesome
#britishjam
As a government agency we at MoJ must also do our bit in times of need. As such each new #britishjam jar will now have an eye test chart printed on the label - this way nobody will now need to take a 60 mile round trip drive to check their eyesight. We’re only sorry it’s late
Hi @BarnardNews - don’t suppose you’d be interested in stocking up on some good old British Jam? You could offer it to people waiting for their eye tests? #BritishJam
It’s worth pointing out that we’ve seen the video #DominicCummings has for leverage over Boris Johnson. Disgusting doesn’t come close. Didn’t know it was possible to do that to a badger, not to mention an appalling waster of Jam #britishjam
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