Top Tweets for #CrocSquawk
Two incomes are better than one. Make sure your partner has 2 jobs. Follow me for more advice on financial freedom.
#CrocSquawk🐊
Came home last night from hot shots and tried to cook some 4th meal. Fucking stove wouldn’t work.
#CrocSquawk🐊
Don’t die a virgin!!
Seriously, there are terrorists waiting up there for you.
#CrocSquawk🐊 #BeAWhore🫦
WHEN MILEY CYRUS IS NAKED & LICKS A
HAMMER, IT'S CALLED "ART"
BUT WHEN I FUCKING DO IT, I'M “DRUNK" AND "HAVE TO LEAVE HOME DEPOT".
#CROCSQUAWK🐊
My first high school football game was a lot like the first time I had sex.
I was all bloody and bruised.
But at least my dad came.
#CrocSquawk🤮
For Christmas, @QweenBean2 wanted an Apple Watch.
So we drove to Uncle Johns Cider Mill and looked at the trees for a half hour. Gosh I am good at this.
#CrocSquawk🐊
Merry Christmas!!!
My buddy @GFW2GFW2 just texted me and said to be careful driving home…. Guys are having too many beers tonight and letting their wives drive home.
Safety first!!!
#CrocSquawk🐊
Women are a lot like bacon.
- They smell amazing
- They taste fantastic
- And they will slowly kill you.
#CrocSquawk🐊 #Bacon🥓
Megs told me that drinking alcohol at night makes you the most anxious in the mornin. So now ima start drinkin in the mornin so I ain’t anxious no more.
#CrocSquawk🐊
Wanna know the difference between a UFO and a woman driving????
Turn your phone upside down.
#UFO #CrocSquawk🐊 #Women
Life is like a helicopter.
I don’t know how to operate a helicopter but I bet its more fun with beer. 🍺
#CrocSquawk🐊
Before everyone calls City Hall tonight about “where are the plows?” Or “why isn’t my road plowed.”
Please remember that side streets get plowed last unlike your mom who always gets plowed first!!! She remains the priority.
#CrocSquawk🐊
Everyday I tell myself, “John, ya gotta quit drinking man.”
Thank God my names not John.
#CrocSquawk🐊
My therapist told me to replace the word “problem” with the word “opportunity” to help my emotional health.
So now going forward I have a very severe drinking opportunity. 😉 🍻
#CrocSquawk🐊
Turkey ain’t the only thing getting baked tomorrow. Best side is the side of greeeeeeennnnsss.
#CrocSquawk🐊
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