Top Tweets for #DefinitelyMyKid
Best line of tonight: after watching people scream in Times Square at 11:57, my oldest turned to me and said, “You know, that’s my personal hell.” #definitelymykid
Lucas comes up to me and kisses me and says “I LOVE YOU!” Super sweet…
Then he looks at me and says “now can I have a sip of your coffee? Since I kissed you?” 🤣
#DefinitelyMyKid
My 8 year old niece is spending the night and my kid goes “Wanna watch Chainsaw man?!” 🤣 #definitelymykid #oops #letsride
This lil girl is up reading a book in the dark. #definitelymykid
Happy 4 year anniversary to the time my kiddo ran away from the play area to read a dictionary.
#DefinitelyMyKid

Took the boy out for a windy walk. After a short stroll around town, he heads straight for the pub, goes in, orders a hot chocolate, then pulls out a book 😂 #DefinitelyMyKid


Baby goes nuts when I eat Mexican food - apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree 🌮🌯🫔 #definitelymykid
This evening my 2yo very clearly said "I love you!"
She was talking to the plate of food I had set in front of her, but I'm counting it as a win 🥰
#DefinitelyMyKid
My 8yo:
"Mommy, I was so excited about what we will be learning in science, it was like fireworks were going off inside me, and all my organs were jumping up and down, and the bacteria were marching and shaking their swords."
#definitelyMyKid
My first grader had to write about what makes him happy... he chose ice cream... me too, buddy, me too. #welovedessert #definitelymykid
My son can’t say his name but he definitely say “fuck,” and “oh shit.”🤦🏻♀️ #definitelymykid
My 6 year old and I played soccer in the yard today. We kept having to stop so he could tell me the elaborate backstories of the imaginary players on his team. #definitelymykid
For his birthday, Robert said he wants the velveeta "mac and cheese cups" 😂
Last year for xmas he asked Santa for BACON!!
We don't eat to live. We live to eat! #DefinitelyMyKid
My 2 y/o daughter, fresh off exclaiming “daddy, my knee is all better” just this morning, has replaced her “ouchie” with abrasions on her forehead, nose, chin, and opposite knee, and a sizeable frontal goose egg for added effect. #definitelymykid #graceful
Which one of my political consultant friends wants to run her future campaigns? This girl is gooooooooood 🤣 #definitelymykid

Watching monsters university when the monster goes in the kids room and Henlee says “She didn’t pick her toys up! There’s a whollleee mess!” #definitelymykid
When you are taking a piss and your 1 1/2 year old decides he going to pretty much say F U dad you’re not peeing. Then proceeds to slam both lids down mid-stream!!! Wtf kid!!! #asshole #pinchit #definitelymykid #dadlife #shitidontlike
Trying to get my daughter to sleep tonight and she wouldn't stop freaking out until I played lullaby versions of @floggingmolly songs. #definitelymykid
Helping oldest with scholarship essay. He has so much trouble talking about himself and considering any of the many cool things he's done as "significant". #definitelymykid
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