#HumourinUniform - Twitter Hashtag

about 1 month ago

#HumourInUniform #NavyHumour Once I joined the Navy in 1984, I could understand Hindi only a little. Even in Kerala, Hindi class starts from 5th standard, but most of us can hardly converse. Lessons are mostly grammar, short stories and all that. Speaking? Forget it. A month into training at INS Chilka. After parade, the class would march towards the classroom. After that hard morning, boys were coming in more to sleep than to study. One day, someone was fast asleep in class. The instructor noticed him and barked: “KIS KIS KO NEEND AA RAHA HAI?” This hero immediately stood up. Instructor exploded: “&$#@&$**… BENCH KE OOPER KHADA RAHO!” My friend got the shock of his life. He had actually thought the instructor was asking, “Who are all the swimmers in this class?” In Malayalam, neenthuka / neenduga means swimming. He was a national-level swimmer, joined Navy on sports quota. So he stood up proudly, ready to represent the class. Till the day he left the Navy, his Hindi remained very bad. Whenever I met him, I narrated this incident. After leaving the service I lost contact with him. I don’t know whether he will ever read this. Dear Batchmate, wherever you are, neend still means sleep, machaa. Memories of Santosh Nandakumar.

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Manan S. Bhatt

@mananbhattnavy

5 months ago

IN EXTRAORDINARY CEREMONIAL ATTIRE #HumourInUniform One wet morning in August 1950, I had to take Colours as Assistant Officer of the Day at INS Venduruthy. There had been a steady drizzle since 0600 hours, and we were all in oilskins. The bugler, Able Seaman TD3 Gabriel, was short and broad, and his oilskin (Raincoat) flapped heavily over his gumboots. At five minutes to 8 o’clock, as we were taking post for the ceremony, it suddenly stopped raining; within two minutes the sky cleared and the sun shone brightly. At that moment, Commodore EG McGregor RN, Commodore-in-Charge, Cochin, who was a regular visitor at Colours, arrived on the scene during the course of his morning walk. Finding ourselves improperly dressed, I called the Colour Party to attention and ordered ‘Off Oilskins’. To my surprise, the bugler took no notice. So I repeated the order in a louder voice. It was then that I heard his agonised whisper – “I’m wearing only a pair of shorts inside, Sir!” 😆😆 Cmde KP Gopal Rao (Retd)

mananbhattnavy's tweet photo. IN EXTRAORDINARY CEREMONIAL ATTIRE
#HumourInUniform

One wet morning in August 1950, I had to take Colours as Assistant Officer of the Day at INS Venduruthy. There had been a steady drizzle since 0600 hours, and we were all in oilskins. The bugler, Able Seaman TD3 Gabriel, was short and broad, and his oilskin (Raincoat) flapped heavily over his gumboots. At five minutes to 8 o’clock, as we were taking post for the ceremony, it suddenly stopped raining; within two minutes the sky cleared and the sun shone brightly. At that moment, Commodore EG McGregor RN, Commodore-in-Charge, Cochin, who was a regular visitor at Colours, arrived on the scene during the course of his morning walk. Finding ourselves improperly dressed, I called the Colour Party to attention and ordered ‘Off Oilskins’.
To my surprise, the bugler took no notice. So I repeated the order in a louder voice. It was then that I heard his agonised whisper – “I’m wearing only a pair of shorts inside, Sir!” 😆😆
Cmde KP Gopal Rao (Retd)

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Colonel of The Bombay Sappers @BombaySapperCol

5 months ago

A refreshing peek behind the olive-green curtain. General Manoj Mukund Naravane’s The Curious and the Classified captures the lighter side of military intrigues—witty, insightful, and deeply human. A must-read for anyone curious about the military psyche. #HumourInUniform #MilitaryLife #StoryTelling #TrendingBooks

BombaySapperCol's tweet photo. A refreshing peek behind the olive-green curtain.
General Manoj Mukund Naravane’s The Curious and the Classified captures the lighter side of military intrigues—witty, insightful, and deeply human. A must-read for anyone curious about the military psyche.
#HumourInUniform
#MilitaryLife
#StoryTelling
#TrendingBooks

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Rajat Pandit @IamRajat_Pandit

6 months ago

On #ArmouredCorpsDay: Interview of a Cavalry officer Q: What is the main function of Cavalry in war? A: Well, to bring style to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl! #HumourInUniform

IamRajat_Pandit's tweet photo. On #ArmouredCorpsDay:

Interview of a Cavalry officer

Q: What is the main function of Cavalry in war?

A: Well, to bring style to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl!

#HumourInUniform https://t.co/zHNvMOkKbW

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Manan S. Bhatt

@mananbhattnavy

6 months ago

A #HumourInUniform anecdote from the other side of the Border.. Out in Cholistan (Rohi - Greater Thar) desert, upon culmination of a long winter collective trg, CO of one of the armour regiments invited officers from a sister unit for dinner.. after a sumptuous meal all offrs sat around a big BON FIRE n old stories came up.. Entangled in a leisureful conversation, it got real late, just about MID NITE the host MESS DAFFEDAR, a 6 feet tall, stout soldier wid a tall turban on his head, making him look like a 7 footer, marched up to the two COs, saluted and asked: SIR, CHAI? COFFEE? ya GREEN TEA? The two COs consulted each other & the HOST told the mess daffedar: RAFIQUE, yar COFFEE lay aaoo.. Rafique was frozen in his place, spell bound as if lightning had struck him.. His CO said for the second time: RAFIUE COFFEE lay aao bhai.. Now rafique had no option but to speak.. He said: SAAB COFFEE TO NAHI HAI.. The host CO got annoyed as he felt insulted in front of his guests, he in a louder tone asked his mess daffedar: COFFEE NAHI HAI TO PHIR POOCHA KYON THA? Rafique responded in an equally confident tone:SIR, WO TO PROCEDURE HAI, hum nay shaam say green tea tayar ki hoi hai, AAP KA KAAM THA GREEN TEA "AARRDDEERR" KAREN, ab mai raat ko aik bajay taamewali desert may coffee kahan say lay aaon ?? The laughter that followed, continued for a few days.. Pic: representative

mananbhattnavy's tweet photo. A #HumourInUniform anecdote from the other side of the Border..

Out in Cholistan (Rohi - Greater Thar) desert, upon culmination of a long winter collective trg, CO of one of the armour regiments invited officers from a sister unit for dinner.. after a sumptuous meal all offrs sat around a big BON FIRE n old stories came up..

Entangled in a leisureful conversation, it got real late, just about MID NITE the host MESS DAFFEDAR, a 6 feet tall, stout soldier wid a tall turban on his head, making him look like a 7 footer, marched up to the two COs, saluted and asked: SIR, CHAI? COFFEE? ya GREEN TEA?

The two COs consulted each other & the HOST told the mess daffedar: RAFIQUE, yar COFFEE lay aaoo..

Rafique was frozen in his place, spell bound as if lightning had struck him..

His CO said for the second time: RAFIUE COFFEE lay aao bhai..

Now rafique had no option but to speak.. He said: SAAB COFFEE TO NAHI HAI..

The host CO got annoyed as he felt insulted in front of his guests, he in a louder tone asked his mess daffedar: COFFEE NAHI HAI TO PHIR POOCHA KYON THA?

Rafique responded in an equally confident tone:SIR, WO TO PROCEDURE HAI, hum nay shaam say green tea tayar ki hoi hai, AAP KA KAAM THA GREEN TEA "AARRDDEERR" KAREN, ab mai raat ko aik bajay taamewali desert may coffee kahan say lay aaon ??

The laughter that followed, continued for a few days..

Pic: representative

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Manan S. Bhatt

@mananbhattnavy

7 months ago

Do Sailors Sell Ships? #HumourInUniform I was serving on the ship INS Amba during the President’s Fleet Review in 1969. Commissioned in 1968, Amba was a wonderful ship. It was clean, tidy, and had plenty of space, very different from the crowded and messy ship Guldar where I had served earlier. Amba was the only Indian Navy ship with air-conditioning back then. Even in normal homes, AC was considered a big luxury in those times. Other sailors were very jealous of us because our ship had it. But it got so cold on Amba that at night we had to wrap ourselves in thick blankets. We would shiver like leaves in autumn and curl up into a small ball while sleeping.We sailed from Visakhapatnam to Bombay. The sea was calm and the journey was pleasant. We stopped at Madras (now Chennai) for two days. Almost everyone went ashore to see the city, leaving only a few sailors on duty.Most of us had never seen such a big city before. The wide roads, tall buildings, and the way people dressed really impressed us. Even though Madras was much smaller than Bombay, it still felt huge to us. The food was also very different – not just for those of us from North India, but even for me, a Tamilian from a small town in the interior. We were not used to the city-style Tamil food. On the second day, a group of us got a chance to visit a film shooting at a movie studio. We were taken to a set where the famous actress Vanisri and some other actors were shooting. She looked even more beautiful in real life than on screen. We kept staring at her, but she didn’t pay any attention to us. After some time, they took us to another shooting spot where the Malayalam actress Sheela was the main star. She was a bit older but still very beautiful, with lovely, sharp features. Sitting nearby was a top Tamil actor, Ravichandran. He sat there smoking beedis. It was clear that Sheela and Ravichandran were in love – they didn’t even try to hide it. (They got married later.) When we were introduced to Sheela as sailors from the Indian Navy, she looked surprised and asked innocently: “So many sellers? What do they sell?” Ravichandran quickly replied without even blinking: “They sell ships.” Sheela’s eyes widened in wonder and she asked, “Why are they here? Are you going to buy a ship for me?” Ravichandran answered very seriously: “Yes, as soon as you start speaking Tamil.” As far as I know, Ravichandran never ordered any ship from the Navy. 😆 So we can safely say that Sheela never managed to learn Tamil! An anecdote by Naval Veteran Asokan Ponnusamy.

mananbhattnavy's tweet photo. Do Sailors Sell Ships?
#HumourInUniform
I was serving on the ship INS Amba during the President’s Fleet Review in 1969. Commissioned in 1968, Amba was a wonderful ship. It was clean, tidy, and had plenty of space, very different from the crowded and messy ship Guldar where I had served earlier.

Amba was the only Indian Navy ship with air-conditioning back then. Even in normal homes, AC was considered a big luxury in those times. Other sailors were very jealous of us because our ship had it. But it got so cold on Amba that at night we had to wrap ourselves in thick blankets. We would shiver like leaves in autumn and curl up into a small ball while sleeping.We sailed from Visakhapatnam to Bombay. The sea was calm and the journey was pleasant.

We stopped at Madras (now Chennai) for two days. Almost everyone went ashore to see the city, leaving only a few sailors on duty.Most of us had never seen such a big city before. The wide roads, tall buildings, and the way people dressed really impressed us.

Even though Madras was much smaller than Bombay, it still felt huge to us. The food was also very different – not just for those of us from North India, but even for me, a Tamilian from a small town in the interior. We were not used to the city-style Tamil food.

On the second day, a group of us got a chance to visit a film shooting at a movie studio. We were taken to a set where the famous actress Vanisri and some other actors were shooting. She looked even more beautiful in real life than on screen. We kept staring at her, but she didn’t pay any attention to us.

After some time, they took us to another shooting spot where the Malayalam actress Sheela was the main star. She was a bit older but still very beautiful, with lovely, sharp features.

Sitting nearby was a top Tamil actor, Ravichandran. He sat there smoking beedis. It was clear that Sheela and Ravichandran were in love – they didn’t even try to hide it. (They got married later.)

When we were introduced to Sheela as sailors from the Indian Navy, she looked surprised and asked innocently: “So many sellers? What do they sell?”

Ravichandran quickly replied without even blinking:
“They sell ships.”

Sheela’s eyes widened in wonder and she asked, “Why are they here? Are you going to buy a ship for me?”

Ravichandran answered very seriously: “Yes, as soon as you start speaking Tamil.”

As far as I know, Ravichandran never ordered any ship from the Navy. 😆 So we can safely say that Sheela never managed to learn Tamil!

An anecdote by Naval Veteran Asokan Ponnusamy.

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Ramesh Ramachandran @RRRameshRRR

9 months ago

#HumourInUniform #JustDelhiThings

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manju 🇮🇳

@justtweettz

12 months ago

CHM pretends to lob a live grenade away & throws it among the soldiers Cadets hit the ground faster than WiFi packets! Turns out it was just a practice dummy. **Moral of the story: Never trust that mischievous grin in uniform. 😆😆🇮🇳 #HumourInUniform #IndianArmy

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Manan S. Bhatt

@mananbhattnavy

about 1 year ago

Time! Time! Time! #HumourInUniform No measure is so keenly kept in the Navy as is time. That includes a sailor’s time in service, time in rank, time in grade, time for shakeup and pipedown, time for food, time for fall-in time for bothwatches and secure; there is leave, absence without leave, temporary duty leave; hard time and Navy time, and of course, “time now.” Navy time is ten minutes prior to the hard time, and it accumulates at each level of authority: the captain says 0630, so the Master Chief Bosun Mate says 0620, the Divisional Chief says 0610, the Petty Officer 0600, the Leading Seaman 0550. The Jr Sailor eventually shows up at 0545 for the 0630 fall in, to be “on time.” That’s time in the Military for you. #NavyHumour #MilitaryHumour #HumourInUniform

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rakesh dahiya @rakeshkdahiya40

over 1 year ago

@srikantkesnur @indiannavy Excellent summary. Incidentally I was the Commissioning Captain of Teg, an earlier but similar class as Tamal. Commissioning, always a matter of pride, can throw up surprises too. Like below… https://t.co/1WwiJ9nreF #HumourInUniform

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evolvingasia @evolvingasia

over 1 year ago

#HumourinUniform

Richard Kettlebourogh Fans

@RichKettle07

over 1 year ago

🚨 Big Victory for Pakistan 🇵🇰 ~ Pakistani X handles uploading video game footage, that's a big victory for Pakistan Air Force on Game Play 😅 ~ What's your take on this 🤔 https://t.co/ueEu5vYJNk

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Ashok Bijalwan 🇮🇳

@AshTheWiz

over 1 year ago

A "Crazy" Clip from Joseph Heller’s Crazy Masterpiece, Catch 22… @w_karve @CestMoiz #humour #HumourInUniform #MilitaryHumour #Military

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🄲🄾🄻🄾🄽🄴🄻 🄱🄾🄶🄴🅈

@alfadelta0108

over 1 year ago

#Humourinuniform #humorinuniform #Military

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Bindasfauji 🇮🇳 @bindasfauji

over 1 year ago

Aaah "Paracitamol"! The fauji panacea! 🤪🤪 #humourinuniform

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Professor

@Masterji_UPWale

over 1 year ago

#HumourinUniform 🍻 #Saturday

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Levina🇮🇳

@LevinaNeythiri

over 1 year ago

Good example of #HumourInUniform

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ravinder bhandari 🇮🇳

@payyaboy

almost 2 years ago

The auditors at @pcdaopune asking authority of @SpokespersonMoD that Colonel @adgpi is equivalent in rank to captain @indiannavy . #humourinuniform @Vedmalik1 @arunp2810 @ajitkdubey @w_karve

payyaboy's tweet photo. The auditors at @pcdaopune asking authority of @SpokespersonMoD that Colonel @adgpi is equivalent in rank to captain @indiannavy .
#humourinuniform
@Vedmalik1 @arunp2810 @ajitkdubey @w_karve https://t.co/qoYUM0yXob

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Ashok Bijalwan 🇮🇳

@AshTheWiz

almost 2 years ago

A GRAND ADVENTURE ATOP SUDAN BLOCK By: Maj Gen Bipin Bakshi (Retd) NDA/60/Juliet (From: Reflective Musings and Reminiscences - Articulations by NDA Alumni) Do read the full thread… 1/9 #Humour #humor #humorinuniform #HumourInUniform #FaujiHumour #MilitaryHumour #Infantry #NDA #NDAKhadakwasla #NationalDefenceAcademy #Pune #NDAPune