Top Tweets for #joysofparenthood
Talking to him right now 🥰🥰
#joysofparenthood

My son never talks to me anymore

Never knew one baby could cause so much havoc...
After 2 days of constipation, massive blow out, followed by wriggling in it...shower...then peeing twice while we're changing his diaper leading to 2 diapers going wasted...
and he continues pooping....YAY
#joysofparenthood
Taking care of your child is like running a marathon, the only difference is that this marathon never ends.
#joysofparenthood
This is the rock found between two cushions in our sofa. #joysofparenthood

I remember kids being mean when I was younger, but fuck me the whole social media thing and constantly being able to hound others is beyond. If you can’t be kind, then shut the fuck up! #joysofparenthood
...Now, I'm here for my son's soccer match.....#Joysofparenthood

one of our kids threw up in bed so I am up late enough to see my new song released… #joysofparenthood
I hope you like it!
@Bandcamp: https://t.co/x49615xrN8
@spotify: https://t.co/2O0P8BM9PB
@AppleMusic: https://t.co/CaSQrJC8dp
right, off to sleep 😴 g’night

Welp Tippy is back! I’ve decided whoever came up with this Elf nonsense did it as a cruel joke to parents! #TippyIsBack #DontForgetToMoveIt #JoysOfParenthood #DoItForTheKids


@Mrninjaslay3r @DOG_RedPanda @JollyRogga Some of us are subjected to it not via our own choosing. #JoysOfParenthood
Apparently some time after you turn 5 you lose the ability to walk. Walking becomes some kind of hoping twisting galloping motion. #JoysOfParenthood #IfYouknockOneMoreThingOverInThisStore
My husband and I are fast asleep. It is 6:27.
“Mom? Mom? Mom? Are you awake?”
“No.” I say and drift back to sleep.
A moment later:
“Mom? Mom? Mom? Is dad awake?”
I mean… WHY?
#joysofparenthood
I’m in a tiny stuffy theatre packed with 240 other sweaty adults and we’re watching our 8/9/10 yos Perform their end of year plays. We’re running an hour late, the plays are awful, little siblings are weeping, and I might start too soon. #joysofparenthood
you know what’s frustrating…trying to be the next Martha Stewart for your toddler and somehow the food still ends up on the floor… #joysofparenthood
The beauty and joy of waking to see your child sleeping peacefully. #Joysofparenthood
Nothing worse than unexpectedly projectile sicky children. #JoysOfParenthood
9yo: Dad, stop twerking!
me: I was not twerking! Do you even know what twerking is?!?
9yo: Yes! It's dancing with your butt!
me: How do you know that?!?
9yo: Dad, we have a twerking club at school!
me: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
#JoysOfParenthood #SundayMorning
Day 2 of the new term and Susie is already wanting to have a lie in while Broch is up playing Iron Maiden even louder than yesterday #JoysOfParenthood
Also the new nurse came in this morning and saw me and Kev looking ragged and said “rough night” and I proceeded to burst into tears #joysofparenthood
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