Top Tweets for #vssThreads
A student assigned to read Hamlet
Sternly swore, "This is no more than spam lit!
Shakespeare by any name
Surely would stink the same."
But the teacher failed him for this gambit.
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
There is a gambit played by the crueler sorts of shapeshifters, the ones who toy with their prey. They intentionally fail at the mimicry. Eyes too wide. Teeth too sharp.
They like to watch their victims pretend not to notice, hoping to bluff their way to an escape.
#VSSThreads
Dr. Frankenstein felt like a dolt
After giving his monster a jolt
It blew off its head
And sadly, he said,
"I should have used more than one bolt!"
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
The bolt of lightning slammed into the mast, momentarily connecting the ship to the raging storm overhead. A crackling figure slid swiftly down to the deck. The rigging burned in its wake.
"You were not born of the sea," it said. "But you will become part of it."
#VSSThreads
Our prompt word for September 9th, 2026 is: CAPTAIN Poetry & prose posts under 500 characters are eligible for Picks of the Month. Please QT this post and tag your posts with #vssThreads.
A ship setting sail for Manhattan
Found a big sea of kelp to get trapped in
Asked one sailor, "I guess
There's a way through this mess?"
Said his friend, "I thought YOU were the captain!"
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
Klaxons whooped. Lights flashed. Emergency shuttles fled the ship like drifting seeds of a dandelion.
On the bridge, the captain pounded on a sealed door, begging to be let out.
"The captain goes down with the ship," said the computer. "I don't want to die alone."
#VSSThreads
James Bond had a secret arrangement
He'd use to end boring engagements
He'd pull out a gun
And yell, "Everyone run!
There's an out-of-control secret agent!"
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
Life is unfair. This is well known. Less well known is the fact that there is a court of appeals. The application process is arduous, but afterward an agent will be assigned to audit and correct life's unfairnesses.
Be warned! Not everything unfair was against you.
#VSSThreads
A man who was scrounging for cash
Found six glass bottles in the trash
He said, "I posit
Though they're worth the deposit
It's more fun to hear how they'll smash!"
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
When dealing with a haunted object, many people's first instinct is to smash it. This is a terrible idea, for the same reason that it would be unwise to attempt to dispose of water by breaking the bottle it is in. Without a container, it immediately goes everywhere.
#VSSThreads
A snow skier, amidst a flurry
Caught sight of a beast big and furry
He screamed, "It's a yeti!"
And fled downhill, yet he
Could not escape the snow ape's fury.
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
Genies' prisons are invulnerable to magic. Their constraints cannot be altered in any way. Time cannot be accelerated. The walls cannot be removed. The genie feels every wasted second tick by.
The twisted wishes are a manifestation of their unending, impotent fury.
#VSSThreads
There once was a giant named Junnish
Whose left foot weighed about a ton-ish
His dance teachers paired him
With people who scared them
Or others they wanted to punish.
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
The church's final sign was a plea:
NEW PARISHIONERS WELCOME SUNDAYS
It had not worked. The congregation dried up. The church was abandoned.
Some teen prankster changed the sign to read simply:
PUNISH
The building respected the words. It took it as a command.
#VSSThreads
When folks see how much money I burn
They naturally ask how much I earn
I say I make gold from lead
But the truth is instead
I make forgery plates from cast iron.
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
A drunkard with skills in plant husbandry
Developed a self-growing bourbon tree
Though it looked bucolic
It was quite alcoholic
And made nearby waters run burgundy.
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
A singer seemed destined to fail
For her notes were all over the scale
But pretty soon
Someone made autotune
Now she's a digital nightingale.
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
Hickory dickory dumb
Three mice chasing a crumb
Ran into a clock
But a tick and a tock
Shortened lives by a scythed pendulum.
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
A man accused of dereliction
Appealed to reverse his conviction
He said, "One small lapse!
I began taking naps
And soon sleep became an addiction!"
#limerick #limericks #VSSThreads
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