Eli Possum Hands 👻

I type puns and fun with my tiny hands. Artist. 👻 Finally got Schezwan sauce 3/23/18

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

“God, don’t take her, but never make another one like her.” My coworker, praying about my existence.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

You are either raging with the machine, or you are raging against the machine.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

After I make a horrible joke
Co-worker: “God, please pray for her.”
Me: “Wait… Who does God pray to?”
Co-worker: “I don’t know… but He needs help with you.”

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

Why did I think I’d be okay rewatching The Walking Dead? I can hardly stand the emotional pain of leaving my cats in the morning.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

I’m tired of things costing money… I literally have SO MUCH to barter.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

Is a magical house gnome taking all my beanies? The answer may surprise you….

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

Hello darkness, my old friend… That’s it, really. I’m just welcoming you back.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

The Errors tour. It’s me. I’m the error

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

I have clothes.
I have SO MANY clothes.
But I wore my soft green shirt yesterday to work and got it dirty. It’s the only shirt I recognize as a “clo” this week. Therefore, I have no clothes.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

@rickymmorse They are there

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

Are there a bunch of spiders in your broccoli? The answer may surprise you….

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

How you have ships called “Terror”, but they named that whole hurricane “Milton”.

#IYKYK #WatchTheTerroronNetflix #WhatsInAName

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

You have to understand, as an avid trinket collector, I am so happy we are now putting things like mini rubber ducks in cocktails that we can keep. “Drink-it’s” if you will.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

*checks horoscope*
“it says the second moon is in reverse happy hour”

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

Not to be dramatic, but the second Moon can leave town now

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

Happy Fall! It’s official because it’s 79 degrees and I saw a dude in a Patagonia vest.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

I just love seeing Snoop Dogg single-handedly living for all of us.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

I swear, if they even ATTEMPTED to remake “Back To The Future” with Harry Styles and a Cyber Truck I will know I am truly in the darkest of timelines.

[Anime Aesthetics @anime_]

Happy international cat day 😸

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

My tweets are a national treasure that are lost on everyone like the Library at Alexandria.

[Eli Possum Hands 👻 @hauntedskin]

I actually accidentally changed “I” to “ai” autocorrect in my phone and now everything things I’m an android