headboy9

Nigerian writer documenting 1,000+ days of wrongful imprisonment. Real-time daily diary. No fiction.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@EhiElla544637 You are welcome

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

Even the good book says that hope when deferred makes the heart sick.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

PRISON DAY #1,124 (JUNE 20, 2026).

Pressure of any kind is one thing I don't want to deal with in addition to things I'm already dealing with.

Whether it be a child and/or woman waiting outside and asking when I would be home, or a false hope that sets me up hoping only to falter, I don't want any of them. In any form or fashion.

A couple of days ago I mentioned to a friend that my lawyer had said he was going to be in an important meeting about my case and he answered: “I'm hoping to hear good news!”

Sounds innocent, right?

But it immediately transmitted the most unneeded pressure. That statement was loaded and shot through me like a venom-laced dart. To interpret, it meant: “I hope you bring a feedback different from all the ones you brought after many previous such meetings.”

The feedback was the same.

In fact, it was even more grim for the finality it put on any possibility of something happening this year in the case.

I had tried to avoid having that talk with him as much as I could. My suffering from the pain of hearing the answer from my lawyer was already hard to bear, but from him… A wrong reaction from him would definitely not help. Sometimes I feel he is a tad bit out of touch.

And true to my expectation he responded as I feared he would and instantly zapped me dry of what mental fortitude I was using to hold myself together. He had brought it on suddenly while we were talking about something more cheerful. The whole mood was spoiled instantly.

I had to go to bed early. But thinking about it now, my mood change was akin to darkness arriving suddenly, as though racing along a highway of clouds to cover the last patches of light.

So I don't want additional pressures or expectations that volley me all high up to the heavens only to step aside leaving me to fall and shatter in many pieces. That was precisely what his words did.

My pastor was one of the first people who helped when everything began in 2023. For that I remain grateful. But over time the cycle became familiar: promises, silence, then more promises.

He would go silent for several months then surface to make promises of action to get me out or to visit. He never does. Silence would follow. Then after a few months he returns and repeats the same.

This has been a form of torture to me. Now I don't bother. I called him on Friday to inform him a lawyer might contact him on my behalf and he was about to start paying me some lip service with “Bro [My Name], sorry I didn't come as promised. We'll see-” when I cut in. Told him what I called him for.

I had heard that four times within the past two months so I'm now able to recognize it for what it is from miles away.

Along the same vein about pressure, one of my biggest issues here was not being married or having any child and being locked up and my life wasting and in jeopardy of indefinitely pausing.

It was a real pain to me.

But in January I realized that not every life follows the same script. And the pressure eased immediately. It isn't so bad if I look at it more closely. Many people out there who have the freedom and means still choose never to marry or have kids.

I'm gradually dismantling thought patterns and cutting myself off from anyone and anything that will make the weight of this unbearable. I'm not comparing myself to my mates because many of my mates are dead. I'm not lamenting any longer that my life is out of course. Many things in life will be out of course.

Even being in prison and dying are parts of life and living. Only a living person can be in prison and you must have lived before you can die.

Even me being here in prison is a part of life.

So is loss.

So is disappointment.

So is death.

I keep exhausting myself fighting realities that have already happened.

Perhaps peace begins when I stop arguing with reality.

Tomorrow is Sunday. Not enthusiastic about it. Yeah, I love the quiet after most have gone to church.

Goodnight Diary.

#DiaryOfANigerianPrisoner #WrongfulImprisonment #HumanRights #Justice #Writing #Nigeria

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@ConLawWarrior This is very important and would absolutely work.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@sowore Gbam.

Your excellence please have a look at my page 🙏🙏🙏

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@EvidenceProf I don't know how to feel about it. There's no joy in someone getting free when they shouldn't be locked up in the first place. Especially after so long.
I've been locked up for over 3 years without trial, could you be of help @EvidenceProf. I'm innocent.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@ReadWriteRyan96 Hello, I'd love to read your work. And you truly need me doing so. I see things differently.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@AccusedScots Indeed. And to get it right, we must all indeed come into the know. Not one innocent person's life should be played politics with.

I'm writing this right from prison. Been locked up since 2023 without trial. And I'm innocent.

Sorry for your loss @BlasioRobinson

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@sammyalfred7 @aacparty I wanted to ask you to explain what you wrote, but since everyone is quiet, I'll quiet like they understand, I'll also pretend.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@artvenske I have questions I would love you to sincerely answer

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@JeffSBrayAuthor And @JeffSBrayAuthor, what are you actually writing in your Christian books if you feel God's children of different races and nationalities less than you?

Unity is the whole message of Christianity, dear Christian author.

This here prisoner will have you know.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@JeffSBrayAuthor I am specifically a Nigerian and wrongfully put in prison. So I have every reason to hate this country.

However, I feel seriously attacked by your words.

Not every Nigerian is a scammer and not every Nigerian wants to inbox you. Some are way well of than you lots can ever be.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

I noticed something yesterday.

@elonmusk tweeted that in the future, governments would spend trillions on antimatter to power travel to other star systems.

All the commentors as far down as my eyes saw had blue tick.

Classism.

Something, Something...

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

A girl I knew in 2023 before prison reach out. Then was shocked into ghost mode.

For her, she has perhaps finally found closure. This way she can mourn the love that could have been between us and let me rest in peace.

#DiaryOfANigerianPrisoner #WrongfulImprisonment

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

PRISON DAY #1,123 (JUNE 19, 2026)

A girl I used to know before prison contacted me today. Her name is Beejay.

We met at a former workplace. During breaks I'd go to her corner and we'd talk about faith, work, career, everything and nothing. Nothing intimate. Just two people who genuinely enjoyed each other's company.

Beejay was average height, a bit plump, clean skin and beautiful glassy eyes. And she always wore a shy smile.

What endeared her most to me though was her calm. She had this air of peace about her that made you want to lay your head on her laps and nap. In addition, she listened well, said little, and was amazed by the smallest things.

We made plans twice for her to come to my place so we could attend Wednesday service in my church together. Twice I cancelled.

The likelihood of things turning sexual on those nights was 9 to 1 for happening. We would finish a good sermon feeling holy and clean then return home to engage in great acts of immorality. That's hypocrisy and betrayal of trust in one. She saw me as deeply spiritual. I wasn't ready to lead us into something I couldn't take back.

All the while, she had made her attraction known. I pretended not to notice. I wasn't in a place financially to date her the right way and didn't want to tie her down by acknowledging feelings I couldn't act on properly.

Then prison happened and I disappeared.

I thought it would last weeks and I'd be back. It has been over three years.

In all that time she never stopped trying. Tens of calls and messages before I got my phone smuggled in. Then personalized messages at the start of every month from June 2023 to this June 2026. I read them all silently and never responded.

Towards my birthday on the 15th she intensified efforts and found my sister. My sister promised I would call without explaining what happened.

I called her today.

She had considered everything:

that I had gotten married and didn't know how to tell her,

that I had relocated and met someone.

She said even if any of those were true she wouldn't have been a problem. There was no commitment between us.

She pressed to know what happened. I eventually told her.

She laughed and said "stooopit!" She was sure I was lying to get rid of her. She switched to video call for her to see for herself.

Then she went cold and silent when she saw the bunks and the serious-looking faces of my cell members. I'm not sure if it was the network or her that ended the call. I haven't heard from her since.

I don't know how to feel about it. Speaking with her caused me real emotional upset. Not something I enjoy subjecting myself to.

For her, she has perhaps finally found closure. This way she can mourn the love that could have been and let me rest in peace.

Tomorrow is Saturday. It rained again so I still haven't done my laundry. In the morning we go again.

Goodnight Diary.

#DiaryOfANigerianPrisoner #WrongfulImprisonment #HumanRights #Justice #Prison #Writing

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

@diarist Hello,
I landed here trying to find out whatever whoever is using "@diarist" is doing with it.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

Some days I feel so funny like I'm in someone else's body. Or as if I'm under the sea and heavy pressure pressing hard on me.

[headboy9 @head_boy9]

PRISON DAY #1,122 (JUNE 18, 2026)

This morning I called my pastor, my sister, and then spoke with a lawyer. And after that I've been feeling the need to speak with my mom. We usually talk on Mondays. Today is Thursday and for some reason I just feel I need to call her... And I will.

I tried to write afterwards but couldn't do much.

Two bunk mates weren't getting along so one had to change posts. The ensuing activities and noise from the move made it impossible to hear yourself think let alone write.

Quarrels and disagreements are fairly common here. However, there are those in the cell we could consider to have more affinity for it than others. It almost always revolves around them.

In entry for prison day #1,111, which was on June 7th, I wrote about a cell member who offered me cooked corn as a peace offering, bringing our fight to an end. That cell member’s name is Mister Solo. And he is a masterful troublemaker.

Days before he made peace with me, he had started fighting with another cell member named Mykelinos. Which has ended. And now he has begun another with his bunk mate.

At some point I thought maybe I was the problem. But now, with Solo having beef with 3 younger cell members back to back within a short time span is revealing.

When he disrespected me, I quietly avoided and gave him so much silent treatment it hurt so bad and he couldn't bear it anymore but called for a truce. But with Mykelinos, they quarreled loudly and would have gotten physical if they weren't separated.

Now he has turned to face Wyte, his bunkie.

He's looking more and more to me like the type of old man who needs at least one conflict going at all times in order to feel normal.

And the annoying part is that he has a bad back and can't stand or walk properly. Something that has to do with his spine or sciatic nerves. Yet he never ceases to look for trouble. Hitting him would be akin to trying to commit murder.

Anyway, that's exactly why we're here learning lessons in patience and tolerance.

The only time I ever lost my cool was with JO. Whenever he got high he became violent. One day he hit me. I warned him. He hit me again. I reacted and immediately regretted it.

The incident earned me several visits to the administrative office and nearly landed me in the punishment cell. What saved me was reputation. Everyone knew JO's history and everyone knew I wasn't known for fighting.

Even then, prison politics prevailed. The provost bundled us together and treated the matter as a mutual fight. We were both eventually let off. JO got another warning. I got hurt.

Mister Solo is another person moving in his spirit.

Though to an extent I see tensions and bickerings as a function of our confinement. It's like how dogs that are constantly caged are significantly more aggressive than the ones not caged.

The longer we stay caged, the more tensions build up, the more we need to find outlets for them. Occasional quarrels are one of the relief channels.

The longer men remain confined, the more pressure builds. Eventually something has to give.

A harsh word.

A fight.

A grudge.

A feud.

The valve opens. Pressure escapes. Then it closes again until the next buildup.

Tomorrow is Friday. Early opening. Hopefully the weather behaves. I have dirty and damp laundry to do.

Goodnight Diary.

@InibeheEffiong
@sowore
@MrF

#DiaryOfANigerianPrisoner
#WrongfulImprisonment
#HumanRights
#Justice
#Writing
#Diary