Will Heaton

83.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

No - just because you thought your 9th grade science teacher, Ms. Dunderkirk, was a pruny old hippe doesn't mean science is make believe

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

I always thought Goodwill Hunting was an autobiographical retelling of Matt Damon's life

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

scientific proof we are on the verge of extinction...only trending behind D Wade, Taylor Smith, and Annikan Skywalker

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

Easter is this emoji favorite day - 🐰

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

Every time I see a hummer… I just wonder why

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

@RealMattlanta - when Chipper gave Adam LaRoche tips?

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

“@BuzzFeed: Today's Brunch Special:
Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch” @CAheaton

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

Don't know if anyone has been checking out the sky or peoples mystories lately, but the sunsets have been like pretty chill

[Atlanta Hawks @ATLHawks]

We have a special message for our fans...with a little help from @Spotify: http://t.co/laYWhZkXoT

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

Analyzing Budweiser's Hypocritical, Anti-Craft Beer Super Bowl Ad http://t.co/48a9n4njHh via @pastemagazine

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

What if when ppl broke into your house, instead of robbing you, they just did all of your laundry

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

Wilco - Wilco (the album) http://t.co/4PI8ITziAu

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

Kurt Vile - "Wakin' On a Pretty Daze" - bloggie
http://t.co/VqBLZVVpcS via @heat_stacks

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

Curious how many more New Years resolutions would be kept if the new year didn't start in the bleakest, most depressing part of the year

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

Do you really think the person who stole your phone follows you on Facebook?

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

I don't ever click on posts that go: "the judges thought...but when they heard..."

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

@kenbensinger brought this up in an a uber ride - driver wasn't worried & had increased her limits, irrelevant, they won't cover you AT ALL!

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

“@BuzzFeedBen: Uber Advises Drivers To Buy Insurance That Leaves Them Uncovered http://t.co/I0MaTJ4RF8 via @kenbensinger” no free pizza

[David Wessel @davidmwessel]

LA consumes less water than it did in 1970 though its population has grown by more than a third to 3.9 million. http://t.co/ejZTGVOx7V

[Will Heaton @heat_stacks]

I can never iniatially spell initially the right way