heather

blonde on a rampage

[Women's Humor @womenshumor]

After a couple glasses of wine, I typically realize I have something VERY important to say.

[heather @heethurbug]

1301 Huffman Rdut http://t.co/ZDD0ciBkVK

[heather @heethurbug]

@JennyBD82 omg I haven't tweeted in 10 million years. #carols #rideordie

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

You never know how dirty a song's lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.

[Drita Davanzo @DritaDavanzo]

#DritasWeatherForecast This weather is like a bio-polar woman that's been cheated on.I do not trust this bitch. #Nasty #Nice & #Confused

[Anna Kendrick @AnnaKendrick47]

First they were behind glass, now security "escorts" you to the checkout when you buy razors? Is that a thing or do I just look shifty?

[heather @heethurbug]

@katyperry your biggest fan #californiagirl

[heather @heethurbug]

@adamlevine you grade papers with my English teacher! #1fan #greenieloveslavine

[Jenny Boyce @JennyBD82]

Hey @orbitgum, office necessities! #keepingourdirtymouthsclean #nomatterwhat #sponsorus

[Us Weekly @usweekly]

Aww! How perfect was Bill Murray's Harold Ramis shoutout? ♥ #Oscars

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.

[heather @heethurbug]

@JennyBD82 #milkofmagensia #tacobell #handlebusiness

[heather @heethurbug]

@JennyBD82 #noway #aintgotshitonriley

[Burro Hunter @choniepony]

Relationship status: Nowhere near as happy as those couples from the erectile dysfunction commercials.

[Minnie @babyblue0924]

If life gave me lemons I would probably find them in my fridge weeks later, growing mold and shit.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the shit out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.

[heather @heethurbug]

@RastaHipsta:I think the real reason men dont lactate is because we would just be irresponsible and squirt each other with it.@blackbeardO1

[Dad @DefinitelySwag]

Miley licked the hammer because Liam Hemsworth's brother is Thor and Thor uses a hammer so this means she's going for his brother...

[Anna Kendrick @AnnaKendrick47]

If you ever want to tell me a secret and you make me swear "on puppies" that shit is going to my grave.

[Anna Kendrick @AnnaKendrick47]

Pinstripe suits are the adult version of Ed Hardy. Letting chicks know you're a douchebag from 100 yards away, just more expensive.