Herschel Walker's Dick

For legal reasons, I have to tell you that I am not a sentient penis belonging to anyone. Although, I am a dick.

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

I believe in truth, fairness, and watching my supporters buss it wide open for me.

[IT WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ME @solomonmissouri]

You don’t have to convince poor white people it’s getting better… just tell them you will make it worse for everyone else

[joshua henry jenkins @joshjenks]

I often think about the way Alice Smith straight mopped the floor with her cover of Cee-Lo's "Fool For You" on Black Girls Rock in 2013. So good it ain't even Cee-Lo's damn song anymore.

[Alien Ohakaeze @bmorealien]

Drake realizing that he could just sue his way out of his problems instead of facing them like a man:

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

🤨

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

@luhaxel

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

Did they predict Diddy and Musky being there though?

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

the Simpsons really predicted everything

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

#TysonPaulFight was wild.

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

@DiggsandCo I'm thinking I probably need to pay this woman $700 in advance

#Walker2024

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

As your president I will give all smart and pretty girls an internship in my jet for a week

#Walker2024

[Dawn @_dawnmontgomery]

Me

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

As president of these very united states, I will only open bridges.

Bridges to that ass to be exact.

#Walker2024

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

If Jay-Z wants to be a children's doctor, why does he's sexuality matter?

I'll ask the REAL questions that Murica needs!

Vote #Walker2024

[Matt Wallace @MattWallace888]

Rumors are circulating that Jay-Z is part of the gay pedophile elite

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

Everyone has been waiting:

I'm running for president!

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

@MrsBundrige Exactly what I said, but they still didn't vote for me.

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

@MrsBundrige Exactly what I said, but they still didn't vote for me.

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

@votetimscott Nigga, you wildin'.

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

@joncoopertweets If by support you mean "buss it wide open" you can count me in there.

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

@alamanecer That's what I said but y'all didn't vote for me...

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

@gundrymd_ I can clean them bowels for, ya...

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

We're still pretty fuzzy on this whole idea of taxes.

How do I write off "special charges" for our "close friends" who needed approximately $700 worth of help?

Last year we just turned in an old NFL highlight reel and claimed Ted Cruz as a dependent.

[Herschel Walker's Dick @heisman_dick]

#LaurenBoebert's divorce is a private matter.

And by private, I mean me.

And by matter, I mean she's carrying my baby.

And by the way, can anyone let me hold $700 real quick?