Martin Evans

Filth monger. Jazz verbalist. Plus-sized hand model. Amateur sailor. Professional tit. I’ve smelt an Orcas breath.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

Just pulled into the anchorage for the night. Blasting Pavarotti on the speakers and it seemed to attract a little friend. Amazing little dolphin interaction.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

Just thought I’d pop in and say hello. I sailed my little boat mostly solo from Brighton up to Scotland. Arrived safely yesterday to anchor up off the Isle of Arran. It’s been an exceptional few weeks. I don’t want it to end.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@sailkatana I do miss that old Panos Taverna. There five years ago now. How time flies. Enjoy it sir.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

Hello. Been a while since I’ve been here. Want a little update on my life? Nope? Fair enough. See you next year then.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@sailkatana Aah. Good old Preveza. Are you in the marina there or on the Aktio side? Have a cold Mythos for me! Would love to be in the med again soon. Going to be a while before that happens though.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@ladydebidebz1 Aaah that would be the uk.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@ladydebidebz1 I do. I’m actually getting ready to sail again. I’m up in Scotland looking for a new home for her. Somewhere on the West Coast. Near my family. Time to re-start my life again. Quite looking forward to a new challenge.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@BienneHuisman I can’t lie. That was some view I had. Would be nice to see it again some time soon.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

Starts Twitter engine. Runs Twitter for a few minutes. Checks the Twitter oil. Turns Twitter back off and covers it with a dust sheet. See you again in a few months.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@KateShemirani @BoobyMcCririck @RefugeOfSinner5 Oh bugger off you nasty wee troll.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@poormanscaviar Can I collect all your residuals from your body of work? What is heaven like? Please keep In touch from the other side.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

I remember when Twitter was all fields.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

I’m back in Marseille for a wee bit. I sailed here three years ago. I’d forgotten how different it is to the rest of France. It gives me Durban vibes. It’s like you might get stabbed, but at least you got a suntan.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

You win Spain. You win everything.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@anthony83772424 Not really. I’m on a super luxury cruise ship as a guest of my friend for his 50th. I will however be sailing more before the summer is properly gone. Just around the south coast of England though.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

Arrived in Menorca just as sun was rising. Gorgeous place. Certainly will return here.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

I should add. I saw very little of either place. But to quote “The Castle”. It’s about the vibe.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

Majorca is amazing. Skip Ibiza. This is my travel advice. You’re welcome.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

@deanstober Lingerie

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

I’ve been a massive fan since puberty.

[Martin Evans @hellpants]

At least random guessing is honest.

[New Scientist @newscientist]

Astrology shown to be no better than random guessing https://t.co/XDnejVpBIL