Tom Hensby

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

@LeShuttle We are waiting with two young children for the 14.50 from Calais. Any idea when we will depart?

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

Finally getting around to reading this by @davidjcmackay (RIP). Also available for free at https://t.co/RF1PCnwh3a

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

@RoyalMail I know the value of an individual stamp is not much but the postage came to about £50. What is the best way to avoid this in the future?

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

@RoyalMail Hi Luke. No loose objects and less than 5mm thick. What system do you have in place to deal with mistakes in sorting offices like this?

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

All that this proves is that Guy Fawkes signed his confession with a stylus on a courier handheld thingy

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

As it's #NationalPoetryDay, here's the most recent poem I've written: https://t.co/1MNaLdmS9P

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

@uniqlo thanks for warning me not to wash my clothes using fire

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

Stay classy @EveningStandard

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

Those damn savages

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

BBC talking head says that a previous outbreak of Cryptosporidium "only caused 69 deaths". So that's alright then!

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

I've been receiving some great work emails lately

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

@TigcoRiches @BBCRadio4 Surströmming! The name of my first child

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

To our neighbour who likes the Stone Roses: if you really "Wanna Be Adored", try not playing music at 2:30am?

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

GET your Sleaford Mods name by taking a swear word and adding it next to another swear word. Mine is Bastard Twat.
(via @pacific_amnesia)

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

.@ctsi_uk I'd like to report this petting zoo

[Frank O'Donnell @fodonnell23]

Best headline EVER? From next week's Leinster Leader.

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

@best_gabby... pointing at the lady's stomach as I said so. "I'm not pregnant," she said. Every day I scream inside thinking of that moment

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

@best_gabby a really nice couple sat on the front row of my @edfringe show, on the way out I said 'you'll be back next year with the baby!'

[Office for National Statistics (ONS) @ONS]

% of people owning home fell for 1st time in over a century & renting increased significantly http://t.co/Q8mgGbXjL9

[Tom Hensby @hensbo]

The best 'Masai Barefoot Technology' I can think of is 'wearing no shoes'