Sam Hertzler

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

rbf is out. gfd is in: gloomy face disease

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

apparently i no longer have blonde hair.
unrelated: anyone have any ideas on where i can put all of my hope and identity in?

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

lukewarm tea sucks

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

i want my freckles back

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

guessing something right has to be one of the greatest feelings this world has to offer

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

this is actually so surprising. I almost never do this

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

so how do we feel about wearing sweatshirts without a shirt

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

so how do we feel about wearing sweatshirts without a shirt

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

For the past 2 years, I have been trying to watch Titanic for the first time, but I don't want to watch it alone. So far I've only been met two types of people. They either:
1) hate it
2) forget that its 3 hours long
All this hype, but no one wants to watch it. Am I being gaslit?

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

there are just some thoughts in my head that need to exit

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

oh yeah, im back

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

oh yeah, im back

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

literally why can't you click on profile pictures on most apps, i feel like that should be a given

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

@SpitballersPod As a well known fact, hotdogs and hotdog buns never come in the same size packages. Would you rather have too many hotdogs or too many buns?

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

defund the grammar police

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

that feeling when not one, but two of you’re favorite artists release new full albums on the same day>>>>

[Peyton Alexander @peyton_b_a]

dad always told me when you run for the first time in a while and get a stitch in your side the only way to get rid of it is keep running. the devil will attack when you pick up momentum in your Walk. gotta keep running.

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

@RasureBridget haha finally got around to tweeting it

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

@toriibrianna

[rudy betrayed @rudy_betrayed]

i’ve heard of direct marketing but this is insane

[Sam Hertzler @hertilizer]

just found out people don’t know what four square is. bro what was your childhood

[Graydon Gordian @MrGordian]

This is the hardest I have laughed all quarantine.