One of my favorite things I've read recently is about a woman who said whenever a negative thought about herself popped up, she would shout "GUARDS!" and imagine knights entering and carrying the thought away.
unlearn shame. all forms of shame: unemployment, illness, vulnerability, longing, desire, errors, failures. you do not need to feel ashamed of what you are experiencing or living. freedom and shame cannot coexist.
A healing stage is DISGUST. Yes, DISGUST. You will be DISGUSTED by the people whose love you seeked. You will feel embarrassed about the choices you made and the people who had access to you who didn't deserve it. Feel this feeling then let it go.
That will NEVER be you again.
My mother-in-law came over for dinner and watched my husband put the plates in the dishwasher while I sat on the couch. She leaned over to me, lowered her voice, and said, "You know, back in my day, a good wife didn’t let her husband do the kitchen work after a long day at the office."
My husband heard her from across the kitchen.
He didn't even look up from the sink. He just said, "Mom, she works the exact same 40 hours I do, and she pays half the mortgage. If I want a clean kitchen, I clean it. Welcome to 2026."
She didn't say another word until dessert