Eug

DM me if you need a DJ at your funeral

[R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts]

🚨 #BREAKING: OpenAI warns employees that spies could be trying to seduce them; women may not be with them for their personalities.

📍Silicon Valley, CA

“If she’s a 6 or above in San Francisco she’s a spy” warned one commentator.

[Jakob @fishinenjoyer1]

No AJ no Smitty no Barkley no lane no center no OC

Still got it done #hurtsfc

The kid just wins.

[abcdent @abcdentminded]

You can set up your iPhone to turn its volume to 100% and play GUMMO by Tekashi 6ix9ine any time its microphone detects a baby crying

[Eug @hiimeug]

@Play_Fellowship Who is subsidizing this game to stay alive

[kadeem alford @kadeem1111]

Just having a burger

[Jake Milkshake @bagmonsta]

Dudes start 0-1 in fantasy and be thinking “maybe I don’t deserve to live”

[Kaiji Von Tang @KaijiTang]

millennial midlife crisis be like

maybe i should reinstall world of warcraft

[Eug @hiimeug]

@davivefotoday @kaerisake Thanks for letting me borrow your 2004 Toyota Corolla bro

[kadeem alford @kadeem1111]

What up

[cefuli @cefuli]

How it feels to play Fortnite after turning 20

[Cody Main @cmain7]

day in the life as a 33-year-old man in america

> getting dressed: Jason Kelce's underdog apparel
> breakfast: Pat McAfee's JAMS PB&J
> drive to work: Pat McAfee's The Diary of a Polarizing Figure
> log in to computer: Update McAfee cybersecurity now featuring Pat McAfee
> Lunch Break: The Pat McAfee show
> Place a well-researched sports wager: Hammer Dahn and DraftKings
> Drive home from work: New Heights podcast
> Grab a drink: Garage Beer
> Use the bathroom: Pee into my collectible Garage Beer data center coolant mug
> Finally time to relax on the couch: Watch Monday Night Countdown featuring Pat McAfee and Jason Kelce

[low time preference @bitcoin__intern]

Having a wife is like having a flock camera in your house

[Trey Rowland @trey_rowland59]

ordered the number 5 at jimmy john's and now i have a voicemail from jayden daniels' lawyer

[&rew @thepostsoffice]

don’t talk to me until i’ve had my triple espresso, Wellbutrin 200mg XL, Vyvanse 70mg, 2mg Klonopin, 1400mg of Gabapentin, 40mg of THC, and this is crucial, 23 hits from Elfbar

[Tatsugiri @ItsTatsugiri]

bro

[. @ihatemybtch]

i’m signing up idc anymore

[Fatherguy Everyman @thecathguy]

Say what you may about the breast milk brotherhood but those guys were apparently holding back a tidal wave of unfunny millennial women taking complete control of this franchise. Look at this dawg we are never getting anything cool from blizzard ever again

[ADAM @adamemedia]

It’s actually gross the amount of money China spends on things like unlimited clean energy for its citizens when it could be sending that money to Israel instead.