mary

[nw@l @nastywomanatlaw]

Being an adult: everything is expensive and early in the morning

[horse powder @JuliusIrvington]

sometimes Taco Bell will put a tortilla, meat, cheese, and rice in a new interesting order and you gotta go check that out and see what’s goin on

[lauren @crglp]

w/ all of the posts going around about Elijah McClain and how sweet & innocent he was, i just wanna say that black men that are not sweet and innocent deserve to live too. mean, angry, nice, sweet, quiet, loud. a human life is a human life and nothing can justify a murder.

[Daniel Johnson @danevanjohnson]

Hi, welcome to Chuck E. Cheese. Everything is visibly dirty and our mascot is a rat, eat some pizza near a sneezing child.

Come on down for some rat pizza at our child casino.

[Rachel E. Greenspan @rach_greenspan]

Elijah McClain's mother made a GoFundMe and it hasn't reached its goal yet, great place to donate today if you have the means: https://t.co/1QArWfs6sc

[Adriana Lacy @Adriana_Lacy]

I can guarantee, your email is not finding me well

[brent @murrman5]

[friend reading my resume] is this written in [me finishing his sentence] Arby’s font?

[iqra @iqraanabi]

“how’s self quarantine going?”

[Lujano @lujanojr]

Making her work for that happy meal 💪🏻

[gary from teen mom @garyfromteenmom]

i do all the fucking work around here

[AIDA @shutupaida]

why is this country so insistent on ignoring the advent of the bidet? what is so american about having a dirty ass

[President Joe Biden (So-Called) @biden4pres]

You say some flu-bug’s gonna kill ya, I say you’re full of beans. There was a time not too long ago where I drank water straight from a puddle in the middle of the street. We all did, we all drank from the puddle. One of those kids grew up to invent microwave bacon

[brent @murrman5]

me rolling down window of time machine: McDonald’s hot dog?
guy in 2027: not yet bud

[lil arab @sweatyhairy]

I hope I'm never mentally well enough to have a yearly christmas card