Jade

she/her 🙃 welcome to my idiot diary

[Jade @hothotjade]

It’s so wild that literally nobody can stop me from being this cute

[clintoris @clintoris]

The bottom is whoever turns on the AC before sex

[Jade @hothotjade]

Honestly Instagram notes is just reminding me who I’ve been meaning to unfollow for a while now

[Rob @robrousseau]

What the hell

[Jade @hothotjade]

I literally can’t believe I just noticed my armpit hair has split ends

[gaming disorder pawg @roun_sa_ville]

Please be respectful when talking about the Queen. She was a head of state, a monarch, a mother to multiple pedophiles and most importantly a devoted cousin to her husband

[Jade @hothotjade]

ROWDY😝🍆💋GIRLS night sleepover!!! 👅🙈Me and my cat have our heads rested on the same pillow watching cosmic love together

[Jade @hothotjade]

I would just like to point out that a man with friends who don’t respect women makes him a man who doesn’t respect women

[Jade @hothotjade]

Fuck and there’s no toilet paper

[Jade @hothotjade]

Nothing quite like unbuttoning your slutty body suit to take a shit at value village

[Jade @hothotjade]

Also how did we get to a place in the world where the people who sell us homes NEED to put their grinning face all over the cities benches - I’m not mad about it - I just don’t understand it ok

[Jade @hothotjade]

the feminine urge to caption this, “a tale as old as time”

[Jade @hothotjade]

Just flushed a public toilet and then rubbed my eyes hahahahah see you on the other side

[Jade @hothotjade]

I feel like my bra is giving me heartburn

[Jade @hothotjade]

I finally actually wanna type “duck” and it says “fuck”

[Jade @hothotjade]

Yea sure but would they bleach ur asshole for u no questions asked?

[Jade @hothotjade]

@swearBTmoon hahahaha these are the moments we live for

[Jade @hothotjade]

Ruining my own moody ciggy-outside-listening-to-moody-music moment by ripping an insane fart that I could help but laugh at

[Jade @hothotjade]

I want everyone to know that if you say “wanna see something gross” I’ll usually say yes

[Jade @hothotjade]

just remembering one time a guy brought his electric guitar to my house to play me an acoustic version of youth-daughter and then he ghosted me 2 days later