Sold It To The Cat

Selling affordable canoes to felines. OK not really.

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Since 1992 I always keep glass of water next to me to warn of any approaching T Rex and I've only been mauled by stealthy panthers

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

What's it like being a well balanced individual?

Is it more satisfying than being a monumental fuckup?

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

@Geo77ge
I like that one. And now I've got an image of him singing that to the other inmates

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

It's hardly fair that Rolfaroo's career has also gone down the tubes because of the actions of Rolf.

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Theresa May seems to have reached inspiration level comparable to that woman who put that cat in the bin.

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

I imagine Mar-o-lago to be like Marioland but with more smashing bricks with your head when you get there.

That's how I explain Trump.

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

My dolphin has a water resistant head.

#notfakenews

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

In other news I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts diddleedee there they are a standing in a row bom bom bom.

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Mindfulness corner:

Imagine a duck. Now imagine ALL the ducks.....OH GOD HELP IM BEING SUFFOCATED BY ALL THE DUCKS WAAAAAGGGGHHHH!

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Lessons from office Xmas party:

Do that thing to anyone but the payroll department next time.

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Bruce Wayne as Batman : Must keep identity secret!

Me as Batman: I'm Batman me. Did I mention I'm Batman? I'm Batman! Me! Me =Batman. Me.

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Twins separated at birth. They grew up. Karl Marx Invented Communism. Santa Claus invented Capitalism!

please dont steal my screenplay idea

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Tip to the makers of Frasier for a VERY CHEAP spin-off series.

Title: Maris

[Steven W Skinner @SkinnerSteven]

HIPSTER COP: *into radio* "We've got a 13-88 in progress...it's a pretty rare crime, you probably wouldn't know it"

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

I just coloured this in. I am now MINDFUL AS FUCK!

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Tell you what America. Just have another 4 years of Dubya for free instead. Go on go nuts!

[Dee @figgled]

Skoopidy doo wop, I'm a jazz song, beedly bee bop I am confusing

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

types of humour:

1. wordplay
2. You've fallen over ha ha!
3.It looks like a cock ha ha!

[Sold It To The Cat @howistuck]

Think I'll come back here from FB. Fed up of getting 90 likes for mild good news yet very few for my wry witticisms on how stuff is stupid