Huhtikuu ❥ is mess

-ˏˋ having breakdown over smallest things ˊˎ
☆ cw: 58.2kg??? | hw: 90kg | lw: 58kg | ugw: 40kg ☆

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

am not even happy about this 🙃 but yeah officially below 58kg, new lw

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

ahh so nice to have never been slim because I'm at 58kg, and it's still BMI 22.7.... I've been so big my whole adult life that last time I weighted this much was as 15 years old 💀

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

literally two years ago I started meds to lower my genetic hypertension i've had for over a decade and now i've medically induced hypotension (at least when restricting) 💀

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

took me embarassingly long to realize but some of the symptoms I experiece are caused by my meds...

it's not only electrolyte imbalance (though the meds worsen it), but it is also orthostatic hypotension 😭

Before meds I never had so frail physical feeling on hard restriction

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

took me embarassingly long to realize but some of the symptoms I experiece are caused by my meds...

it's not only electrolyte imbalance (though the meds worsen it), but it is also orthostatic hypotension 😭

Before meds I never had so frail physical feeling on hard restriction

[ꪀꪮꪜꪖ 🦄🪽 @blukittendoll]

fr 😭😭😭

[alice @rottentoo]

an empty stomach feels so clean to me i cant even explain why but like i will never feel clean enough after eating

[lexi 🧸 @skinnnydoll]

overeating for a moment of pleasure is not worth delaying weight loss for

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

need to start body recomp but I've no energy to exercise... I've said since fall I need to exercise while losing weight because otherwise I've too high f% even as normal BMI... well it happened and I hate it </3

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

mun maha räjähtää tästä ruaon määräatä ughh... siis tuntuu iha kamalalta kun maha tottuu joko isoihin tai pieniin annoskokoihin ja teet päinvastoin niin se tukala olo....

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

the urge to purge is so so so high but I'll resist it because getting back to b/p cycle is hell... I've this time consumed a lot less E|> media and I've noticed I am not as obsessed with coubting calories because I just wing it and eat low enough it cannot anyway be over my limit

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

I was 65kg when I got back to my apartment after spending 1.5 months away, so gained a bit over 3kg in that time... then went and lost 5kg in 2.5 weeks ✨️

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

hahaha binged for the first time in half a year so I went and took my weight loss meds even though I should not be using then anymore as I am below BMI 28 💀💀 I just don't want all that fat to absord to my body

Right when I've lost 5kg in 2.5 weeks and I am 1kg away from lw

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

hahaha binged for the first time in half a year so I went and took my weight loss meds even though I should not be using then anymore as I am below BMI 28 💀💀 I just don't want all that fat to absord to my body

Right when I've lost 5kg in 2.5 weeks and I am 1kg away from lw

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

my omad be like when I've nothing on my fridge, freezer or pantry...

I probably eat worse than starving victorian child did

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

have to use bag clip on my pants to keep them on me as there's no place for belt lmaoo 😭

[jen ⋆｡° @restlesscls]

companies be like “high protein!!” and its 7g protein in a 250 cal serving

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

Today electrolyte imbalance hit so bad I crashed towards chair, dropped my phone to the floor and in the moment of confusion and disorientation while trying to pick it up, my brain didn't work and I picked up my clothing instead?? lmao. The signals were not working

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

First week back to my apartment and went straight back to hard restriction 💀😭 I was meant to do maintenance/high res for a few months to lessen my hair shedding that happened due to rapid weight loss but I'm too fucking tired to eat and prep food.

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

I literally cannot comprehend how much difference 30kg weight loss makes.

I wear the same clothes, have same makeup style as a year ago. But I look different. And I feel like I am more attractive and almost look like I've had work done to my face lmao

Like it's me but better yk

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

@delicatebones13 unfortunately i loved food perhaps too much because i've had both BED and Ednos 💀

[Huhtikuu ❥ is mess @huhtikuum]

still thinking about one guy having the no appetite kind of depression and being so underweight he had to have meal plan and in psych ward for it 😭 meanwhile I had mf eating disorder and nowhere closed to being uw so nobody cared