crain (category 5)

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[your other mom @difficultpatty]

I don't know how many versions of the same password I've got left in me.

[Phil Hoyeck @PAHoyeck]

Hate it when people tell me “That’s a good point.” All my points are good. That’s why I make them.

[Roony @Roonysters]

I will never elaborate because I also don’t know what I just said

[Fuckin’ Princess @8WithaTiara]

my favorite fall activity is stepping outside and not being hot and pissed off

[UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1]

there comes a time in every sheet pans life where you realize it's never going to look clean ever again

[claire @floppatakes]

Ha! You're absolutely right. There *is* a 737 waiting to take off on Runway 19. 🛫 I probably shouldn't have cleared AA5404 to land there. 😳 I'm here if you need any tips and tricks for handling mass casualty incidents. 🚒🚑✨

[jonathan @jwebmusic]

My dog when I ask what they have in their mouth

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

It’s always “sync your contacts” but never “block your contacts”

[r͛ @9lsvq]

"?????" is such a top tier response to a stupid text.

[2fenlon @fen_lon]

i wish animals understood Pointing. like stop looking at my hand and look Over There

[Ⓜ️ert @mertcentury]

Phone: Do not take your normal way to work. There’s something fucked up with it. Take this bullshit way.

Me: No. I’d rather be late going the normal way than go the bullshit way.

Phone: That was a test, and you passed. Your normal way is 3 minutes faster than the bullshit way

[Peter Holderith @_baldtires]

"You're almost done setting up your pc" Ive been using it for 3 years

[𝘚𝘦𝘳 𝘌𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ⋆.𖥔⚔️ @gildfae]

I have a biological clock but it tells me when it’s time to watch Lord of the Rings again

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

[talking to myself] Please don’t start with me right now.

[✮ @istgnolimit]

"sync your contacts" i'd rather be waterboarded to death actually tysm tho

[𝖓𝖎𝖈 @missNgrunge]

best time to reach me is when i’m at work. don’t bother me when i’m at home

[Peng🦋 @SusuDpeng]

Me every month acting like I’ve never seen a full moon before

[🥷🏾 @NikeTechRanger]

Apple can fold that phone up they ass

[gabe @allgarbled]

Bro, just use the passkey. It’s in the magic link. It’s in your authenticator app. We sent you a code. It’s 2FA with your phone and yubikey. It’s face id. It’s sign in with SSO. Just enable touch id. Do you want to stay signed in? (we’ll log you out anyways)

[H @IfeanyiEmm34386]

When I say no to something I actually wanted because I was mad