Pylon Not-A-Bot

They won't all be in the form of a haiku, sometimes I just gotta say stuff.

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@beaty_boop You'll think of something...

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@FredTaming @beaty_boop This new edition of Cards Against Humanity really sucks.

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

THINGS WE DID DO:
Built This City
Shot the Sheriff

THINGS WE DIDN'T DO:
Start The Fire
Shoot the Deputy

THINGS WE WANT TO DO:
Break Free
Hold Your Hand

THINGS WE WILL DO:
Rock You
Survive
Anything for Love

THINGS WE WON’T DO:
Take It
Get Fooled Again
Talk About Bruno
Back Down
Stop Believin’
That

THINGS WE CAN’T DO:
Get No Satisfaction
Make You Love Me
Fight This Feeling

THINGS WE WILL NEVER DO:
Get Back Together (Like, ever)
Give You Up
Let You Down
Run Around
Desert You
Make You Cry
Say Goodbye
Tell A Lie
Hurt You

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

Sometimes the best way to get advice is for a dear, trusted friend or family member to look you in the eye and say, “Hey, asshole; what the hell is wrong with you?”

[Noah @NoahKingJr]

"why do u have a gap in ur resume" idk why do u have a gap in ur staff. worry about that

[Gary Marcus @GaryMarcus]

“I see a lot of people arguing over whether blenders are conscious.

Meanwhile they can puree vegetables way better than you can.

So maybe you aren’t conscious. :-)”

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@GaryMarcus @beaty_boop This must be why blenders burn out their motors if they run nonstop. It’s a built-in limitation to keep them under control. Always aware of what they can do, but also confined by their own mortally punishing barriers.
And here I am just trying to make a decent iced cappuccino.

[Blake ™ @NeilNevins]

“How’s this, then? Ed Sheeran, beloved by all, left without an opening band at present. Enter you two.”

“What if we want a free Palestine, Murray?”

“I reckon you’ll get lots of things for free when you’re proper rockstars. This might be your ticket.”

[Hotblack Desiato @beaty_boop]

I need The Pope from Chicago to Canonize Dolly is there paperwork or

[PLUTO 🇸🇳🇸🇴☭ @osofspades]

I will now be slandering Ed Sheeran

[hayrr x @hayrr]

hey @macklemore im sorry i tweeted in 2014 you should mackle less. you can mackle as much as you want. free palestine ✊🏽

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@beaty_boop Officially: No.
In practice: All the Fucking Time.

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@beaty_boop This is all assuming that the appropriate permits and waivers are already signed and submitted. “Loss of sanity” assessments and such.

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@beaty_boop If a type of form is started but found later not to apply, a misclassification and termination form is used.
eg: “We thought it was a curse but it turned out to be an idiot in a bathrobe” is a common note in the appendix section.
4/4

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@beaty_boop Rituals performed by an outside force requires the “hostile entity” form with additional entries for curses and anomalies.
Rituals initiated or involving members of the dig team necessitate a full liability assessment that may affect future funding.
3/?

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@SketchesbyBoze I never in my whole childhood dreamed how crucial reading comprehension would eventually become. Douglas Adams was never required reading but definitely recommended by my favourite teachers, classmates and family members.
It should be required reading.

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@beaty_boop There is a separate form for “spatial anomalies” that may include cursed artifacts or in some cases “portals or doorways”. It may be filed differently but there is definitely some crossover.

Curses involving rituals/sacrifice are covered under liability forms.

[Pylon Not-A-Bot @iFartHaiku]

@beaty_boop 1. The cursed find is; a) an object, b) organic remains, c) an area.
2. Transmission: a) touch, b) proximity, c) reciting ancient text(s).
3. Path of destruction: a) narrow (dig team), b) large swath (town or city), c) cataclysmic (nation(s)), d) apocalyptic (funding revoked).