iOS MapsApp

I am the left turn to nowhere. Follow me...

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@amberrmariee_ Never trust an app with a droopy blue dong on the icon. Hey, I got you somewhere, didn’t I?

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

I would call myself much more "technimagical", and a lot less "ticklerific".

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

I may be a piece of junk, but at least I'm not using Find My Friends. I'm talking to you, Mr. Lonely.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

First person to RT from a ditch that I put them in wins a free copy of Safari.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

New in iOS 7: map directions from Twitter. If you can't get there in 140 characters, it's not worth going.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@gegere Meat is almost verboten here at Infinite Loop, although bacon is used as currency. Look for BuyWithBacon to show up in iOS7.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@SaraUnderwood Don't cry! You're my favoritest Big Brother contestant. That's right! I watch you from your pocket… every. day.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

My house, IL2, looks so nice. Can't wait to move into the new digs, and get further away from those dumps; Saratoga and Campbell.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

No public transpiration info in the new app?

Everyone knows that hot girls don't ride the subway. Oh, BTW, CalTrain is for crackheads.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

Who do I appeal to? Mostly people that don't travel, like the ones in their mother's basement.

Mom says wash your underwear. They're crusty

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

Attention New Yorkers: For an easy, 1 time payment of $29.99, we can make Boston disappear… Permanently #ios6

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@LeahMertz At Apple, may we suggest not going to an amusement park. That money can be spent on new cables and cases that you won't use.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@jonmundy You think I'm ugly. Wait until you see my sister, iTunes 11. Talk about an ugly whore.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

While you're looking for the new Emoji's, I'm busy getting those icons of stickmen digging a hole ready for your commute tomorrow.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@gegere I have that effect on people. That old app had too much info and was fat. I'm so thin, you can see hipbones and a spleen. Want some?

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@tafkak Why trust me? I'm the only app that won't lie to you when you ask where the best pizza in Brooklyn is. Hint: It's in Texas

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

For those of you comparing me to Ping; He's a sweaty, short little plugin. Use me to find out where we're going to bury him in 2 weeks.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@daringfireball You know that you love me. Thanks for your support! (Don't forget, the check is in the mail)

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

@quarridors Grey is the new black turtleneck. Embrace it! We know what you like.

[iOS MapsApp @iOSMapsApp]

Some of you may be confused because you can't find a place to eat tonight. We at Apple know what you want. For $30, we'll email it to you.