fuck lawnmower culture

🌱🌺isa. 28. sapphic queer. known heterophobe. basically a human car crash. a soft bitch. chronic misplacer of things. icon by @jesuiscecil. (she/her)🌸🌿

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

to the entire world: stop using ø interchangeably with o. they don't make the same sound and you look dumb af.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

my girlfriend, with great indignation: I can’t believe I am the fluffiest motherfucker.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

my coworker with blatant undiagnosed adhd vs my coworker with blatant undiagnosed autism. fight! (and they do. all the time)

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

Me: what the magic word?
My friend’s fiancé: inbred bitch boy.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

My poor friend, an academic, was shocked to learn that I am in a line of work where, sometimes, I accidentally produce teargas.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

Another year. Another yes I’m gay howd you know?

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

It was in the trunk of my car

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

both me and my girlfriend have adhd so today we spent half an hour looking for a roll of Oreo’s that we both know for sure that we bought when we last went grocery shopping.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

we didn’t find it btw.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

This game is taking me out

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

so was anyone going to tell me that Chuck Tingle writes serious horror books or was I just supposed to find that out in the bookstore all by myself?

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

A surprising plus to working with only 50+ year old men is that they have the greatest sympathy for me when I’m on my period and my pains are bad.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

my girlfriend: fine! I’ll take care of myself and go to bed, but as a compromise we’ll have to go to that cursed thrift shop you mentioned tomorrow.
me, who loves the cursed thrift shop so much: oh no, what a horrible sacrifice I must make.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

the worst thing about polyamory is that my girlfriend is at her other partner’s place but we’re watching buffy together so now I can’t watch buffy until she gets back.

[Hozier @Hozier]

#UnrealUnearth is out now 🖤

The album represents a reflection on the journey through the last few years and all that was reckoned with in that time. I feel incredibly lucky for your support and can’t wait to see some of you at shows soon.

🖤 https://t.co/seLzUUhvUi

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

my girlfriend uses a different name than her legal name, so when I took her to the ER yesterday I really looked like an amazing girlfriend when I had to turn around and ask her what the hell her name is.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

my body has decided that it’s new reaction to anxiety is extreme nausea. so that’s… fun 🙃

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

I just took an hour long nap and woke up to my girlfriend cleaning my living room and kitchen???? I’m spoiled as hell.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

det har været en ret hektisk slutning på min ferie men jeg har fandme savnet værkstedet.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

im just chilling and watching black mirror and suddenly they’re speaking danish.
somehow im always shocked when I realise that danish exists to other people.

[fuck lawnmower culture @iamcrystalqueer]

i know that it’s because I’ve been overworking myself literally forever, but I honest to god hate having vacation.
i always end up in the worst fucking slump and I just cannot get out.