Rebecca Rutherford

As seen on TODAY .com 👋 cheap laughs • deep thoughts • recovering marketer • relapsing artist ✨ it’s all an experiment ✨

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

@NWSStLouis I don’t eat much bread or drink milk so whatever you can have it but KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE TOILET PAPER YOU PANDEMIC-ERA T.P. HOARDERS

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

They say that a cardinal bird is a loved one who has passed away coming to visit you. But if you hit a cardinal bird with your car and it dies, do your loved ones come back to visit you instead?

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

And now I shall begin my favorite of all Thanksgiving traditions: Painstakingly painting over all of the wall scuffs that I’m just now noticing because people are coming over today.

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

Camping is in tents.

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

I am the breadloser in my house.

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

When a #UFO is ID’d is it just a FO?

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

When someone says, “I love them as a person,” I always wonder if there are alternatives. Could you love them as a lamp instead? Do we have options?

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

First aid kits get all the notoriety, but I’m all about second aid kits.

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

If it’s not off limits, is it on limits?

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

Are you still eligible for a second wind if you never had a first one?

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

I want to start a band called Free Beer because the promotional posters would draw a huge crowd and I love seeing a genuine face of disappointment

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

Chick-Fil-A sauce is my favorite and all other Fil-A sauces are dead to me.

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

I SCOFF at servings per container

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

@ryanripley I generally don’t feel like a master-level anything can also be entry level

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

If I look better in hats and sunglasses than I do without them, what does that say about my head?

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

Honeydew is a honeydon’t for me.

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

OK, I’m at a loss and I don’t even know where I’ve been over the last week so I’m just going to put this out there:

Has anyone seen my coat?

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

There’s so much talk about “passive income” when I’m over here hustling for some “active income.”

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

Why is cannot acceptable while willnot is not?

[Rebecca Rutherford @iamreebs]

I got rid of all my jeans during the pandemic except one pair so now all I have is jean.