Wisdom Gbenga

Helping Men become Husbands & Fathers whose character commands respect.
Leadership • Maturity • Family • Wisdom

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

When I was preparing for marriage in 2009, my father told me something I didn’t fully understand:

“Don’t choose someone only because you love them. Choose someone whose character you can live with.”

I thought he was being too serious.
I was young.

I thought love was the hard part.

Seventeen years later, I finally understand him.

Before you marry someone, don’t only watch how they treat you when they’re happy.

Watch them when they’re angry.
When they’re broke.
When they’re wrong.
When they don’t get their way.
Watch how they treat people who can’t do anything for them.

Watch how they handle money, correction, disagreement, and responsibility.

You’re not only marrying the person you see when life is good.

You’re marrying the person you’ll have to live with when life gets hard.

Beauty changes.
Money comes and goes.
The butterflies settle.
But character comes home with you every day.

What did someone older than you tell you about love or marriage that only made sense years later?

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@HeartMattaz He is a weak man.

A man should be able to lead his home and bring balance between his marriage and every extended family members and in-law

He failed in leading his home and he must be purnished for being irresponsible

Don't just fall in love
Understand what you're building

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

A child is a child and a child must be allowed to behave like a child.

What frustrated her was her expectations of an adult behaviour from a child

Who slaps her when she makes mistakes?

She needs healing more than the boy.

You have done your best
You're not the cause of the slap

Her need for healing did

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@Adhekunbi Just a follow ti wa ok

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@APSTDRLUCKYENI He doesn't need any advice on here. He belongs to a place called Yaba Left in Lagos Nigeria

Perversion has corrupted his sanity

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

Wow this is big

The deeper lesson isn’t really about tenses or abbreviations.

It’s about how your spouse represents herself when you’re not there to speak for her.

Correction without respect becomes control.

But correction with love can become growth.

A good spouse doesn’t just tolerate your weaknesses.

They help you become better—without making you feel small in the process.

That distinction matters.

When you marry someone that is teachable, growth is inevitable

Don't just fall in love
Understand what you're building

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@kenkenlewu When a man is unserious with his life, he will always attract his likes

I am sure the husband will still help her refund the money

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@HeartMattaz What is the stand of your husband?

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

A man can be the head of his home and still fail to lead it.

Leadership is not making your wife obey you.

It is being able to face
difficult decisions,
think clearly,
listen to her concerns,
explain your position,

and help the family find a better direction.

If every disagreement becomes a battle…

If your wife cannot trust your judgment…

If you avoid difficult conversations…
something is missing.

A mature husband doesn't need to win every argument.

He needs to build enough wisdom, character, and trust for his family to confidently follow his direction.

Leadership is not authority you demand.

It is confidence you earn.

Don't just fall in love.
Understand what you're building.

Kindly follow @IamWisdomGbenga

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@APSTDRLUCKYENI What do you mean that you don't want to hurt her?

Aren't you hurt?

What advice do you need again?

If you were advised, will you do it?

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

The primary need of a woman is leadership

When you have a marriage and you can not make your Wife reason with a logical opinion

You are already failing in your role

Both soft and tough decisions and critical thinking is part of your duty to stabilise your marriage

Wake up and stop hiding behind anonymous messages

Don't just fall in love
Understand what you're building

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@jon_d_doe When your economic power is not in place, your dignity is in question

Many Africans lack economic power

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

If relationships are already too commercialized,

are we solving the problem by making matchmaking another product to buy?

The annual plans reportedly range from ₦70,000 to ₦700,000.

I understand the idea.

Serious people should be willing to invest in their preparation for marriage.

But here is the question I cannot ignore:

Does money make someone more serious—or simply give them better access?

Can a ₦700,000 membership identify character?

Can it guarantee a godly marriage?
Can it guarantee compatibility?
Can it prevent deception?
Can it guarantee character?

The platform itself does not guarantee a match or marriage.

So perhaps the real conversation isn't whether Pastor Okonkwo should provide matchmaking.

It is this:

At what point does helping people find love become another business built around people's desperation to find it?

I don't think we should condemn the idea blindly.

But we should be allowed to ask uncomfortable questions.

Marriage is too important to become either a spiritual transaction or a commercial transaction.

Don't just fall in love.
Understand what you're building.

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

She showed you the red flags but you ignored them

The reality is dawn on you now

Writing anonymously is proof younhave not learned from your error

If you are unable to sit her ass down and find a way out of this quagmire at this stage

You're courting regrets

Don't just fall in love
Understand what you're building

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@talk2veee Preparation is the solution to opportunities and challenges of life

We all witnessed how Twitter amplified Mumzee

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@Wizarab10 One way to measure a maturity in a man is responsibility

Money is not the primary need of a woman and many men in this generation are missing it

If you are this irresponsible, how can you lead her?

How do you provide leadership?
How will she respects you?

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

Money is not thr primary need of a Woman

Any broke man can be a lover.
It takes money and time to be one.

Only a few men become leaders.

It takes discipline and purpose.

Purpose is what makes her loose sleep over you

Find your purpose
Find your partner

That is how to marry the right way

Don't just fall in love
Understand what you're building

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

Your desperation to be loved can make you accept almost anything.

This is why you must learn to love yourself before you enter the dating market.

Not the “self-love” that means buying yourself nice things.

The kind that says:

“I would rather be alone than be loved badly.”

When you know your worth,
you stop begging for attention.

You stop confusing chemistry with compatibility.

You stop accepting disrespect because you're afraid of starting over.

You stop giving someone the power to determine how you feel about yourself.

Love yourself enough to walk away from what you know will destroy you.

Then you can love someone without losing yourself.

Be the love of your life first.

Then find someone worthy of sharing that life with.

Don't just fall in love.
Understand what you're building.

Kindly follow @IamWisdomGbenga for more ways to marry the right partner

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

Agba, I read that somewhere that many Women are interested but the Men are not on the platform.

This is instructive

Women are easily deceived and are emotional whenever they're processing information

Unlike the Men that apply logic in their analysis of events.

Except a Pastor is trained to handle relationships or conflict resolutions, they have shown to do bad job

I was a Regional Auditor to one of the largest Churches in Nigeria for 5 years

I majorly audit Pastors and their activities. I saw things I wouldn't be able to share here so it would look like demarketing them

All I will say is that, many of them are not experts and Women keep running to them as their messiah

If you want to marry and be successful in that marriage as a single person, stay here and learn for free

If you want it faster, reach out to Agba one on one if there is for honest and enduring guide

I am happy in my marriage of 17 years plus and I have studied and experienced success in this noble institution

I have met 11 successful marriages and listened to what made them successful

Stay here and focus on the message
By wisdom, sieve through the truth and you'll not be misled

Don't just fall in love
Understand what you're building

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@NajifaAI Wrong wife

[Wisdom Gbenga @IamWisdomGbenga]

@danellisona My account got suspended and I need your follow