Brit

I’ve never been relaxed in my life | Lactose intolerant denier | Still thinks Allen Iverson every time someone says AI | (she/her)

[Brit @IBSCousin]

You’re in their DMs. I’m creating fake scenarios with them in my head to feel something. We are not the same.

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

Truly do believe migraines are one of the stupidest possible illnesses to suffer from. What do you mean the weather is making me blind in one eye

[Chris @citehchris]

sorry can’t make it to work tomorrow they’re doing a post birth abortion on me

[cosmic cowgirl 🪩🤠 @blockhim2026]

Shazam but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me

[Carly Anne York, Ph.D. @BiologyCarly]

Queens of the Jungle hits bookshelves today!! We've got bonobos, orcas, elephants, spiders, parrotfish, octopuses AND MORE!
https://t.co/V24QyJi98U

[trish @ultragloss]

my favorite part of the eclipse was when jacob had to cuddle bella for warmth while edward was right there in the tent with them

[trevy @chillextremist]

It’s crazy how basketball players can perform an alley oop and not develop feelings for each other

[jo @damonsgrayson]

me

[Brit @IBSCousin]

Sangria is just pretentious jungle juice

[Brit @IBSCousin]

Every time I get the hiccups, im that much closer to ending it all

[Nik @_NikSpace]

I always know when My period is coming bc I have enough anger to shift the world off its axis & eat 4 large steaks.

[trash jones @jzux]

mom can you come pick me up? they're using the public library money for war crimes

[Jawn Gonzalez @JohnGonzalez]

Everyone: Steph v Sabrina was super cool

Kenny: …and another thing who gave women the right to vote?

[✨smoke mommy✨ @wxfflestomp]

I found out my husband has a burner zillow account used to verbally harass landlords with ridiculous rental prices & I just think thats hot

[daniel™️ @danielsogay]

If you thought sponge, bob, square, and pants were a category today I’m so sorry but the game isn’t for you

[clare @sadderlizards]

hey boss can i head out early i want to go play outside

[Megan 'Hayride' Kappes 🎃🚀 @MyLuvIsElectric]

Okay I ate some rotisserie chicken and feel a little more like I'll be able to handle the day

[Noor ✭ @Noorthevirgo]

Not arguing with a man with a fat ass, whatever you say cake boss.