CallmeSage

In love with Food | Intrigued by fitness. Copywriting. Poetry. Storytelling | Soft spot for Dance | A safe space | Helped by God.

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

The same way they all denied knowing people use tomato paste to cook stew.

[Bella 🧨💚🩷 @bee4bellaa]

you found out another method works, and all of a sudden you are surprised people use curry to cook fried rice.💀
let’s call igwe dear.

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

Dear Lord,
The sun you gave to brighten our day wants to roast us.

[Maro Akpobasaha @MaroAkpobasaha]

"Keeping the town healthy."
Ekpo masquerades from Udeni village, Benin City. Their masks represent sacred deities of the Benin Kingdom, all owned by the Oba of Benin. When they appear, a cleansing is coming. They are believed to fight negative influences and evil.

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

@miss_ezeani Funny thing is that she said she apologized and clarified that the “nice lips” was not an attempt at being disrespectful; but she didn’t take his apology to mean that his message was not an attempt at being disrespectful. My gender go wan bathe you.

[Maro Akpobasaha @MaroAkpobasaha]

His Royal Majesty, Omo N'Oba N'Edo, Uku Akpolokpolo, Oba Ewuare II, proceeds to the Oba Akenzua Cultural Center to receive cultural groups and well-wishers who have come to pay homage to him during his 10th coronation anniversary celebration.
Benin City, 2026
#Obaofbenin

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

@bfitsng_ It’s perfect.

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

@bfitsng_ Give me backless any day mehn!

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

Twinsssss.
I would legit be hearing my mummy’s voice in my head while walking with my coconut head into that which we asked our Father who art in heaven to deliver us from.

[Harley knows you are lonely and so she @miss_ezeani]

Hey,

So, always put me in your prayers whenever you can because one of these days, that thing I’m looking for, I’ll find.

Yesterday night, I was on my way from the mainland to the island to got get some TLC because, dhur!

The time was 11:25pm.

As a was approaching the Yaba bridge stretch of the Third Mainland Bridge, that part where street lights starts becoming a suggestion? Yes! I saw an elderly woman ahead. She had a sack on her head, and another in her hand, power-jogging like she was training for a midnight marathon in the middle of nowhere.

So I did what every other sane human being driving by that time of the night would do, something adorned in common sense. Right???

So naturally, I slowed down.

Normally, I do give strangers going my direction a lift. But this was midnight and this old woman is trekking in the middle of nowhere. But my charity knows no bounds or situations.

Any other person that grew up in a Nigerian household can see the many ways this could go wrong; eg, she could perhaps turn into a bird in the back of my car, and I’m suddenly chauffeuring poultry. And this is worse case scenario by the way, as I’ve skipped the many security dangers.

But even in my wild range of imagination, I could never have seen that one coming.

Now because I’m ungovernable, and I’m walking dangerously close to the footsteps of my lord and savior, Jesus Christ, I slowed down. Help the what? Those in need. No caveat.

Could be in pitch darkness. Middle of nowhere. To pick a strange old woman. Somebody say “Hallelujah!!!!”.

“Where are you going, ma?” I called out, window rolled down, charity written all over my face.

She replied something I couldn’t quite make out. It had heavy Yoruba inflections and my first thought was, she’s speaking local.

Now, my grasp of the Yoruba language is not superb but I can make out a flow and meaning when I listen.

“Ehn?”, I asked to see if I could catch what she was communicating.

She said a few more words… this time it was becoming increasingly erratic, incoherent even for a language I’m not fluent in.

Her body language had shifted. The stride tightened. The eyes locked on; she was gearing up… to do what? How am I supposed to know?😩

Before you judge her (hold your horse you judgmental elitist!), stress can make people act strange. Try walking a miles in her shoes!

Except she didn’t have any shoes.😔

Now, while I may be a fool, what I am not is a complete fool. I took a second at her again, this time to take her in and wouldn’t you know it; barefooted, which is mostly nothing. She could be training for a marathon. Kenyans do it!

Her bags were mostly rags and dirt, which is… Eco-conscious? I guess… Not everyone subscribes to papers and plastics.

But…

She was now erratically charging towards me. Why could this be??? Fcuk that! I don’t care for the why!

My brothers and sisters, it turned out I was dialoguing with a roaming mad person.

Not your regular mad, the one that af do gbim in the streets. A regular!

Listen, the makers of Toyota vehicles needed to see me make them proud because in the history of Toyota vehicles, vehicling; nobody has ever squeezed the velocity I squeeze out of that car!

One minute it was 0 km/h, the next it was 100 km/h.

I evaporated.

Put that car in the speed of light.
😩

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

@fruitify_Daily This is really beautiful

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

The way you talk about the Suya guy and his Suya is how I want people to talk/feel when they taste my cooking mehn.

[Lekan Olayinka @lekan_olayinka1]

So, I have been in Jos for the past two days, and I am immediately reminded why this land was such an experience the last time.

So, I took a Bolt here in Jos, and it was N3,500.

The distance was like heaven. But it was just N3,500.

Then, it’s almost as though the government has told the keke guys not to charge above N500.

You can take a keke across the Atlantic in Jos, and it would be N500.

Then, the hotel where I am lodged. I am not even ashamed to say I am paying N15k per night.

But the room is big, the water is heated, and I have free Wi-Fi powered by Starlink. It is heavenly.

That’s not the highlight.

It is the courtesy of the service. Everyone calls me “sir.”

For breakfast, the lady was preparing my tea and bread.

I got uncomfortable because such courtesy is alien to me as someone from Lagos.

Like I have said before, I know good street food by how rude the woman is.

The other day at Ikeja Under Bridge, I bought rice from this woman.

The setup looked great. But when I engaged her and she was very warm and respectful, my heart sank.

I knew the food would not be good.

I was right.

But here in Jos? I feel human warmth.

Guys, God has to do something for us in Lagos.

You would hardly feel any human collective joy and community here.

The atmosphere is hard, tense, fast, and strained.

You won’t find that here in Jos. It is indeed peaceful.

Oh, people are respectful here. So, so respectful.

Finally, there’s a guy who sells suya around Lamingo Road.

Honestly, I think God called that guy to the ministry of suya.

I don’t think you can make suya like that if God is not with you.

No. That has to be a gift from above.

The meat listens to him.

They are so soft you feel like heaven makes contact with your teeth and tongue.

I shall go draw from his ministry tomorrow night. I must eat it before I leave.

Lastly, lastly, the Chinese rice here costs just N5,000.

My God, it does taste like China’s beautiful skyscrapers.

I shall draw from that ministry tomorrow too.

So, that’s been my experience so far in Jos.

It has been a delight.

[The FEMALE SAHA @kohms_]

Don’t worry. Everything will be alright 🤗

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

I’m down.

[Big Timi @OrevaZSN]

What’s stopping me from walking into a random hotel at 8am, confidently heading to the breakfast buffet, acting like I have a room upstairs, eating, and just walking out?

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

Twice they’ve taken my money without giving me data.
Twice my airtime vanished into thin air.

[Nenye Bebe @Nenyebebe]

@MTNNG @MTN180 you people are thieves

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

When you think you’ve seen it all

[Dividend Hero @HeroDividend]

I got a new air fryer this week at Costco

One of the best purchases I have made all year

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

@winchester_boye Cause me I don dey vex o

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

@online_bestiee I’m sorry for breathing the same air as you

[The OLUWATOYIN @online_bestiee]

I used Slide 1 as my reference and created Slide 2 with yarns and a simple crochet hook.

I’m SOOOO proud of my work!

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

Na “alarm it”

[Nelson Rich @hypakleppo]

Na “clock it” this man de try do 😂

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

@_zicoboy Fair enough, just do small thing to the voice

[CallmeSage @icynthiaimade]

And she looks like she just stepped out of a Marvel movie.

[Kinjo @silverstarcloud]

Do yall see this shit
https://t.co/4IZNLY7bfL