ID Redacted

Vice President in Charge of Calzones. Locally-sourced, handcrafted, artisanal tweets. On here mostly to argue with Verizon.

[Jon Reed @Jon__Reed]

Just left the odyssey. It was pretty good….. but kind of felt like a rip off of O Brother, Where Art Thou??????

[ID Redacted @ID_Redacted]

@peteyburn In one sitting. Not sure this would get you there, but there's actually a limit to the number of calories you can absorb at once.

There's also an "elasticity" to your metabolism. One single shock can be absorbed, but a 7-day uptick might set in.

[East Village Guy @eastvillageguy]

Holy fuck get dunked on by a DICTIONARY

[David Keyes @DavidMKeyes]

In exchange for $300 billion, I, too, am willing to pretend to not get nukes. DM me if interested.

[Sam Ro 📈 @SamRo]

Best video I've seen in my life and it's not even close

[ID Redacted @ID_Redacted]

I’m drunk on cream cheese cold foam or some shit.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

💯

[orbital haze (balls/acc)🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ @orbital_haze]

WEYLAND-YUTANI SPACESHIP DESIGNERS: YEAH WE GOTTA HAVE RAIN INSIDE IT

[Dr. Mia Brett @QueenMab87]

Why did y’all need a research paper to tell you that if no one has a job companies don’t have customers

[Kama @Kama_Kamilia]

Today’s theme

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Someone on threads yesterday said that Stephen Miller is what happens when you bury a dildo in the Pet Sematary.

[John Collison @collision]

Basically the experience of interacting with US healthcare specialists. Your results are on MyChart. We'll message you on Spruce. Just log into MyPatientPortal. It's right there on FollowMyHealth. Just create an account on myEHR.

[ArtButMakeItNow @artbutnow]

The Garden of Earthly Delights (detail), by Hieronymus Bosch, 1480-1505, 📸 by @alexbrandon

[Acyn @Acyn]

Reporter: The president said we might blow up and completely obliterate all of their generating electric plants, oil wells, Kharg island, and possibly all desalination plants. Under international law, striking infrastructure is generally prohibited. Why is the president advocating potentially a war crime and how do you square that with the US aying it does not target civilians?

Leavitt: Their best move is to make a deal or else the united States armed forces has capabilities beyond their wildest imagination

Reporter: Including potential war crimes?

Leavitt: With respect to achieving the full objectives, the president is going to move forward…

Reporter: Which of those objectives would destroying a desalination plant most help?

[Neet @neet_sol]

God’s plan for me doesn’t involve LinkedIn at all

[ID Redacted @ID_Redacted]

@34yearoldfriend You forgot about Mike’s Amazing Mayo

[ID Redacted @ID_Redacted]

Need a link to a web version of this for clients.

[cumi @sambellcumi]

fast cheap