Sway

I'm a 28 yr old exmodel, current webdeveloper doing law school. Hobbies include pissing people off & laughing at stupid shit. End of the day 'I Do It My Way'

[Sway @idimw]

Was just in an elevator with a #Korean guy in a suit. Entire ride up I was just waiting/hoping for him to bust into a #gangnamstyle dance.

[Sway @idimw]

As a guy you know you're getting old when you see chicks in short short skirts & the 1st thing u think of is 'they must be so cold'. #Sydney

[Sway @idimw]

"A jealous woman does better research than the FBI" - Every Man Ever!

[Sway @idimw]

Went to nephew's birthday party over the weekend, kids parties are so much better now than back in the day! http://t.co/psWVBEQ5 #KidsParty

[Sway @idimw]

Hey little man, found you a new brother! http://t.co/DiU2rNoM #Halloween

[Sway @idimw]

Women who think they're smarter then men but didnt threaten a male teacher with sexualabuse atleast once in highschool need to think again!!

[Sway @idimw]

Justin Bieber's new xmas album 'Under The Mistletoe' hits stores Oct 31st, god must really hate everyone he kills before then.

[Sway @idimw]

Hmm why did the Upolu guys feel the need to paint Bra's on themselves? http://t.co/LnvT3Apy #survivor

[Sway @idimw]

I wonder what it feels like for a medical receptionist to call in a fake sick day and be asked what’s wrong? #UnderPressure

[Sway @idimw]

A real man will always open a present before reading the card! #ManAdvice

[Sway @idimw]

Remember when wearing a lone black leather glove was a double dragon badass kind of thing, not something a pedo does?

[Sway @idimw]

Whenever someone tells you something starting with 'I read in a book' you instantly know its going to be complete bullshit.

[Sway @idimw]

The Philippines; where any ugly old white guy can go and live like Hugh Hefner!

[Sway @idimw]

@ModernWood perhaps the most accurate tweet ever written. http://t.co/5ypDngLN

[Sway @idimw]

Everytime I begin to think it would be cool to grow a badass #beard, I see a homeless dude sporting one & immediately change my mind.

[Sway @idimw]

It's sad how retarded people now must identify themselves when in public by wearing fluro sunglasses.

[Sway @idimw]

The only time its socially acceptable to lie is if u have a red head kid & get asked "are u the father?".

[Sway @idimw]

Anyone who claims honesty is the best policy obviously has never been asked "so how do u know each other?" by the father of a fuck buddy!

[Sway @idimw]

Annoying: when you see a girl you rejected in High School because she was kinda geeky/chubby/ugly is now gorgeous. Fuck!

[Sway @idimw]

Looks like dad won't be coming home for the holidays after all, like he cares he'll be in the Bahamas with the mistress