There’s a cult hiding beneath the earth that has existed since the fall of the Roman Empire who has been systematically destroying any chances of me having this; from making short haired tomboys into lesbians and making muscle cars expensive and shittier, all because they hate me
But be warned, women do this thing where they’re “single”, let you fuck, get back with their ex then tell him she let you fuck and now you have a lifelong enemy for no real reason