ifdurdad 𓅃

He/him

[ifdurdad 𓅃 @ifdurdad]

I have finally gotten a screenshot of my phone at 1337 time with 69 battery. please clap

[ifdurdad 𓅃 @ifdurdad]

fucking finally, I've been wanting to get one for regular computer reasons and you can't get the damn things

[Milo Smith @mil000]

THE GREAT OPENCLAW MAC MINI SELLOFF HAS STARTED!!

[Andrew McCarthy @AJamesMcCarthy]

Still makes me laugh that this was my most popular post from all my Artemis II coverage

[ifdurdad 𓅃 @ifdurdad]

@carmilith I got some gator jerky at the gas station recently, I guess I'm not a real person

[morbidly obeast @STRONG_PlSS]

If you got high around the turn of the millennium you could have a lot of fun listening to music and watching the stereo

[palis low block at the san siro 🔜 @volvicstorm98]

Peak, the second oldest one is "stab me so no one can say a girl killed me" and now because of the oddness of the quote I know him as The Guy Who Was Mortally Wounded By A Girl And Got Extremely Rattled By It. This is the literally the one thing we didn't want to happen

[Ed Zitron @edzitron]

This is so good lmfao

[Vik von Lustig 🇺🇸 @realcountlustig]

This is very weird. I have been assured by euros that there is no heat like European heat

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

US news stories in 2025: we're cancelling all the programs monitoring Incredibly Contagious Butthole Rot in foreign countries, what a waste of money

US news stories in 2026: okay for some reason there are now cases of Incredibly Contagious Butthole Rot popping up in the USA

[Rachel Zader @RachelZader]

Fun fact you can buy B12 injectable on Amazon. All the reviews are like "my cow loved this for his B12 deficiency and has more energy at the office"

[ifdurdad 𓅃 @ifdurdad]

@entheoalchemist sell it for a modest profit. it's OK because your heart is pure

[Mouse 🐁 @MementoMousie]

classic

[rugsoda @nellaf]

available now ships same day https://t.co/liaKQzTGJW

[Geppetto San Martín 🚬🌭𓅸 @SmalltimeJones]

reading this story and holy shit what the fuck, japan? in the us every year there's less than one person killed by bears. that's fucking wild

[styx 🍭 @styxxsyringe]

like why do you have to be in fucking las vegas. i don't have las vegas money. i just wanna smooch the mascot

[The Outbursts Of Everett True Files @john34766308]

The Omaha Daily News
Saturday, June 06,1914

[Fey @fey_xbt]

A guy calls his broker and asks about egg futures.

Broker says they’re at 25 cents.

Guy says, “Alright, buy me 100 contracts.”

A week later he calls again.

Broker says, “Good call. They’re at 35 cents now.”

Guy gets excited and buys 1,000 more.

Few days later, he calls again. Eggs are at 50 cents.

Now he thinks he’s a genius, so he buys 100,000 contracts.

Next day they’re at 65 cents. He buys a million.

Then they’re at 95 cents. He buys another million.

Then $1.25. He buys another million.

Next day, eggs are trading at $1.75.

He finally thinks, alright, this is probably enough. Time to take profit.

So he tells his broker, “Sell 2 million contracts.”

After a long silence, broker finally says:

“Sell to who? You’re the egg guy.”

[IndieWire @IndieWire]

‘Popstar’ at 10: The Lonely Island Reveal How Their Biggest Flop Became a Cult Classic https://t.co/gz0g5ZakVM

[vost @foolibuster]

https://t.co/7XVp18admK