Mike Murphy

Professional husband and father. Amateur cook, runner, and repairman. Side gig in marketing. Angry tweets are my own.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

My spirit animal

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

God do I hate the smartphone era. [Because my wife can fact-check all my bullshit.]

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

THIS is how you use the iOS confetti thing:

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

PSA: It’s never too early to teach your kid that’s he’s actually walking like Frankenstein’s *monster*, not Frankenstein.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

Me at a birthday party where my kids are acting absolutely feral: “Weird, they’re usually way worse than this at home.”

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

Iceland is green, Greenland is ice. Jeez, it’s like you haven’t even seen D2: The Mighty Ducks.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

@rachelmetz That’s for change of clothes, key documents, flashlights, first aid kit, etc. Plus a weathertight Husky(?) bin from Hone Depot in the garage/shed/outside with other materials.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

@rachelmetz Under the bed within arm’s reach. I may not be there most of the time, but I’m not in any other single location for a third of the day.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

Not to brag, but my 5yo just told me I’m the best dad!*

* “in this family”

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

@djfivenine Spoiler: neither were important.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

There is nothing ruder than Face ID not recognizing me first thing in the morning.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

My parents once went to see “that Clint Eastwood baseball movie” (Trouble With The Curve) but five minutes into Pitch Perfect my dad leans over to my mom & says “I don’t think Clint Eastwood is in this movie,” but he was INTO IT and now it’s legit his favorite movie.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

Salad!

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

100 points to anyone who can guess what course this is supposed to be. (cc @70s_party)

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

Makes sense that Tom Hanks is America’s Dad because America is basically Chet Hanks.

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

This hits close...

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

yeah sex is great but have you ever gone on zillow

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

@dini123 I love the custom SIKK emoji 😂

[Tempo for Runners @TempoLog]

Super excited to be releasing the latest version of Tempo. It adds support for wheelchair workouts that I have wanted to do for a while. It also brings Personal Bests, a feature that’s one of the oldest on the list of most requested features. 🏅
https://t.co/KxpXGZrz1e

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

I think my wife is about to propose to me?

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

You think you know awkward? I watched the entirety of #Bridgerton with my wife AND IN-LAWS

[Mike Murphy @igobymike]

You think you’re Type-A, but do you draft and edit every individual thank you note in a google doc before handwriting them?