noshins

🐝

[noshins @igotsnoshins]

@JayOnLeafs Can't skate, play defense or stay healthy. Guaranteed to get hurt. Almost a decade away from plotting 30...

[Dreamweaver @DreamweaverOnX]

economy is so dystopian the average 30 year old man just trades pokemon cards for a living

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

A beetle, unaware of how deep in karmic debt it is, begins its journey across a highway. At this moment, an Amazon Prime truck driver hurtles down the road, distracted as he hastily situates his company-mandated catheter.

[Jennifer Begakis @jenbegakis]

imagine being Maduro in a jail cell watching oil hit $100 a barrel.

[REE$E ⋆｡𖦹°‧★ @reesebepuffing]

a beautiful chinese woman named Deer Xing is communicating with me through road signs

[kelly @BoyYeetsWorld]

The bartender sells me their poison (12 beers) and denies me their cure (a 13th beer)

[Slumdog_Chillionaire @SlumRNA_Dog]

Balding niggas don’t even tell the barber how they want their hair cut anymore they just look at him like this

[noshins @igotsnoshins]

@TOSportsAdam

[twicrates 5’8.375 @twicrates]

“can you explain this gap in your resume?”

“yes, i was in tha mud”

[Rob Freund @RobertFreundLaw]

$20k to simulate the experience of a roommate with a ketamine problem.

[noshins @igotsnoshins]

@butt_watermelon Doesn't look Somali

[~~datahazard~~ @fentasyl]

They'll kill you for beliefs you don't even have.

[shoe @shoe0nhead]

if i’m ever brutally murdered on the subway make sure everyone knows it was a rare occurrence and just part of living in a city ok remember to bring up car accident statistics too

[noshins @igotsnoshins]

@preaches Bro, if you don't want the reviews to be taken seriously. Do you. A little criticism doesn't hurt.

[noshins @igotsnoshins]

@preaches It affects the way people interpret the reviews. Do you. Not hating. Just an observation.

[noshins @igotsnoshins]

@preaches Do you think this helps people take your reviews seriously?

[noshins @igotsnoshins]

@Teheimar

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Wow, what a stressful week of work. Time to relax by holding a phone beaming endless streams of horrific international news inches from my head