Retarded Mom

Cougar?? ... Im not that scary, am i

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My daughter is so retarded that she is addicted to this http://t.co/tsmePqC5 - sp

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My son's friend said he wanted to get "stoned"... What a horrible way to die. Why would he say that?!

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My son keeps his friends weed, so they won't get in trouble with their parents. My son is so nice.

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

I overheard my daughter tell her boyfriend she likes it hard. Glad to know she is challenging herself in school!

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My daughter kept on playing this game on her iPhone its really addicting >> http://t.co/L5SjjCN7 - sp

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My daughter always wears the least amount of clothing possible. I'm glad she's trying to help save the environment.

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My daughter must be so popular! Her phone was vibrating all night!

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

So they legalize marijuana and then get rid of Twinkies? Is our government playing some kind of cruel joke on us?

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My daughter set up a pole in her room...I Guess she thinks the roof will cave in or something.

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My sons friends are so nice. They always smack the fly off my butt!

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

I think my son's black friends love fruits...it looks like they have bananas in their front pockets every time i see them!

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

I didn't know they sold rubber tampons! I just don't know why they come with batteries!

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My son said he wants to skip school on April 20th because it's national earth day. Of course I'll let him help out the environment!

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

My son really wants a pet, he's always talking to his girlfriend about doggie style.

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

A robber who broke into a hair salon was beaten by its black-belt owner and kept as a sex slave for three days. he was fed only Viagra.

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

@chubbyycheeksx3 please check ur text I'm sorry

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

@vaginga u one ugly bitch lmaooo

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

The world's most expensive hamburger is sold at "Serendipity 3" in New York and costs $295.

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

People who often chew gum are more likely to develop Temporomandibular Joint Disorder and have difficulty opening/closing their mouths.

[Retarded Mom @iiRetardedMom]

Men tend to spend more money when they are not in a relationship.