bruce

[bruce @ikelinde]

Cobb Vanth, Vanth carbonation

#TheMandalorian #TheOffice

[bruce @ikelinde]

went to speed dating after having my eyes dilated... love was literally blind tonight...

[bruce @ikelinde]

prof: you all are the best of the psyc department... professional researchers

me: *professionally researching where to put the address on an envelope for the 402nd time*

[bruce @ikelinde]

The emergency room is like being forced to watch every season of the office but @SteveCarell leaves in S1 E1

[bruce @ikelinde]

waiting for the world to realize that it's "pope is a rockstar" not
"go little rockstar"

#Reels #TikTok

[John W. Rich (Wealthy) @Cokedupoptions]

Reading a book is basically admitting you don't know the topic. Never show weakness.

[bruce @ikelinde]

@BenBillups never skip parietal lobe day

[bruce @ikelinde]

Professor:
the brain is just like any other muscle in your body

Me:
*takes pre-workout before exam*

2 days later:
*shocked to find out I failed the exam and that the edu system failed me*

[bruce @ikelinde]

how do twist-ties like twist one way and then seemingly all of the sudden need to be twisted the opposite way... I'm too old to not understand this

[bruce @ikelinde]

5-year-old brain while standing in the Starbucks line today...
"you are the tallest one here... look at you go... you're so tall"

Everyone else was probs wondering why I was staring at the top of their head... this is why

[bruce @ikelinde]

anyone ever put on a pair shoes... and upon fitting perfectly say to yourself... "I could outrun soooo many zombies in these"... ?

[bruce @ikelinde]

I killed a roach at 2am last night... I kicked it onto my front steps to send a message to the roach hierarchy. I later read that roaches are cannibals so that kind reverse Uno carded my plan.
Roaches: "we ain't even fazed homie... that's not Kevin anymore, that's just lunch"

[bruce @ikelinde]

Odd fear #23,981:
being in a drive thru... and the car in front of you is not far enough ahead for you to effectively order yet the drive through lady starts asking for your order

[bruce @ikelinde]

I now know that if you have never been moments away from getting bit by a dog named "cuddles"... you haven't lived

[bruce @ikelinde]

Le woman cutting my hair today informed me that she had been to 2 malls at the time of some sort of attack... there are 3 things that might be happening here
1 she shops too much.
2 She has horrible luck.
Or 3... I was getting a haircut by an extremely terrifying person

[bruce @ikelinde]

I believe the bald man who cut my hair today was taking every opportunity he had to run his hands all the way through my hair... it was as if my hair was his mode of transportation down memory lane... happy to help sir

[bruce @ikelinde]

update - the man does his own stunts... I am now lost

[bruce @ikelinde]

every day I get closer and closer to just quitting grad school and allotting all my resources towards securing my position as @KevinJames stunt double in Paul Blart 3... anyway how's your day going?

[bruce @ikelinde]

you ever wonder how many raffles you've actually won but they thought your name looked stupid for some reason so they just picked another name??

[bruce @ikelinde]

if movies are at all accurate... then how come I have not randomly encountered a zoologist, explorer, helicopter pilot, former bullied kid in high school, lifeguard, cop, or hell even a jungle cruise skipper who even slightly resembles @TheRock?

[bruce @ikelinde]

Cruella movie plot: young woman fights her way to the top with nothing but her will, smarts and cunning

Cruella 2 plot: the same woman gets out-smarted by some dogs

#Cruella