Humpty Dumptruck

voulez vous

[Humpty Dumptruck @ilikedennys]

I'm tired of explaining what cruise means and when to use it

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

IDC if santa claus is coming to town… so is Gypsy Rose Blanchard!!!!!!

[✨smoke mommy✨ @wxfflestomp]

is a corndog in the beef wellington family?

[Nikolaj🇺🇦🇵🇸 @nikicaga]

Yet another Biden accomplishment

[Sam Jeske @Sam_Jeske]

Spotify should send you halftime report. Tell me in July what my Wrapped is looking like and how much work I have left to do to turn this thing around

[Bandit Barbecue @BBQ4REAL]

I’m officially dead here.

[Humpty Dumptruck @ilikedennys]

My plane smells sooo sterile rn

[Alex @AlexShaneMoore]

I’m teaming up with modelo to free every animal in this pet store

[grace 🤝 @debtbarbie]

i think a fourloko would kill gwenyth paltro

[madimoiselle ♡ @drivingmemadi]

hydroflask this, stanley cup that. i need an upside down water bottle i can screw to the side of my bed and drink from at 3 am like a gerbil

[connor Wood @fibulaa]

Where were they january 6th

[Humpty Dumptruck @ilikedennys]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 9 years, since 28 Feb 2014 (via @twi_age).

[Tom Cecil @scopgieb]

Oh no, someone made an AI deepfake of me being awkward at the bar last night

[Kytursii @kytursii]

The struggle is real

[Mairéad Lynn @maireadlynn]

There are a lot of parts of wedding planning that I'm not all that interested in, but a seating chart? You mean a puzzle with feuds, breakups, and matchmaking? Sign me up.

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

“get fucked” as an insult is literally one of the funniest phrases white ppl ever made. like they were in their bag with that one

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

is this guy ok

[Marshall Scott @Marshall__Scott]

Using my enemies driveway to turn around