I’m about to Juke

Collecting my thoughts

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Things change, people change

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

What a beautiful thing it would be to witness a man you love be a father

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Is it a crime to wear rollers to work??

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Be mindful once you eat the eggs you will be farting

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Add some vinegar to your boiling water so your egg shells peel off really easy

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Exposure therapy. Regular therapy. Red light therapy

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Please use as specific language as you can with me

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

My personal chef would absolutely be bored sick of me and my requests

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Taste is fashionista. Wallet is homeless

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

God bless my estrogen levels rising or whatever

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

My bad I thought we were both into how retarded I was being

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

If you can help it for the rest of your life don’t ever order from @PacSun

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Always double check for promo codes before you submit your order

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Everybody isn’t for everybody

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Can’t wait to not be too much for somebody

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

How does anyone even like anyone else?

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Tuesday is arguably the worst day of the week

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Saying “I guess I’ll go fuck myself” always catches people off guard

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

If you had a parrot what would its catch phrase be?

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Fascia tight like this p***y

[I’m about to Juke @imabouttojuke]

Never realized how often I’d be thinking about Saddam’s hiding place