M.

tweeting through my feelings, you know, as you do

[M. @imngmn]

Oh god. Thank you all in this thread for making me lmao for the first time in months.

[Sam 👁️ @SamtheNightOwl]

his name is Gavin Christopher Newsom and he is the governor of California. he has been telegraphing a run for president for like 20 years and is ready to do it in 2028. he also probably drinks the blood of infants for daily sustenance

[M. @imngmn]

The dumbest fucking riddle of our generation

[Brian Rosenwald @brianros1]

Here's the challenge for the Democratic Party: Missouri voted for a $15 minimum wage, paid sick leave, and abortion rights & Democrats cannot compete there at all. Why? The answer to that is the road to a comeback.

[Trill Clinton @aStatesman]

Imma tell you now, if you voted for Trump do not come asking for GoFundMe and hashtags for your family members killed by police. 🤷🏾‍♂️

[M. @imngmn]

other people: It's still early.
me: *half way through my third bottle of Captain Morgan*
also me: Yeah, still too early.

[M. @imngmn]

I still can't believe it's been 40 years since the last election.

[M. @imngmn]

Ok, hear me out, what if we all move to a swing state? No more swing states. #problemsovled #conflictresolution #MidnightBigIdeas

[M. @imngmn]

I often question what I'm doing with my life and if it's all worth it in the end, but then I remember NASA has been sending engraved messages and nudes into space *for years* and I suppose my life thus far hasn't been quite that pointless.

[M. @imngmn]

The current rate is a pound an hour. 🤌

[M. @imngmn]

Due to the sudden and prolonged rain snow mix, there is a severe lack of of trick-or-treators tonight. Looks like I'll have to finish this 10 lbs bag of candy by myself. Not complaining, just showing off.

[M. @imngmn]

I've been too busy running around this month that I barely touched (polished of a pound of) the candy until now.

[M. @imngmn]

At the end of long days, the best meals will always be ones that I don't have to cook and can be eaten right out of the container. Even better if reheating, dishes, and silverware are optional.

[M. @imngmn]

You know, a taco truck on every corner. 🙂

[M. @imngmn]

If I could afford it, I'd hire local food trucks to spend the day at every polling location across the country on election day. All permits, food, drinks, other supplies on me as well.

[M. @imngmn]

I thought I was clever by going to the pool on cold nights, thinking that no one wanted to go out in such weather except me, but I was wrong. All 200-something members of this pool suddenly felt the urge to swim tonight of all nights.

[Peter Raleigh @PetreRaleigh]

Generational loser. World historic. Nobody doing it at this level

[M. @imngmn]

Google "heard" me and suggested this video: https://t.co/vDTG0qhljJ. I'm too hungry to be concerned right now. These two people can cook a mean Chicago dog.

[M. @imngmn]

#craving: Chicago-style hot dogs with all the toppings (everything, just pile 'em high), crispy chewy cheesy fries, strawberry milkshake, and a long nap afterward

[M. @imngmn]

Some dude bros found out last night that Eminem is a Harris supporter and got really upset. It's almost as funny as when Paul Ryan found out that Rage Against the Machine hated him (politically but probably personally too let's be honest).