Nat 🦥

she/her

[pinkishlefty @pinkishlefty]

The absolute funniest part of capitalist ideology is that they somehow managed to convince everyone that "freedom" meant like...the freedom to choose between 63 kinds of shampoo, and not like...the freedom to quit a job you hate without losing your health insurance.

[Humaira @satti_humaira]

Don't let a 10-minute problem consume a 24-hour day. The email was uncomfortable. The train was late. The conversation went poorly. Feel it, deal with it, then allow the rest of your life to remain intact.

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

The crazy thing about this out pouring of love for Dolly Parton is today's billionaires could give 10 times what Dolly gave without even feeling it and they just choose not to, every single day.

[Dfw_camo @dontplay_z]

Why are all the actual real human jobs like baker and florist and childcare worker barely paying livable wages but the fake jobs like Ai specialist boot licker of Marketing campaign dick sucker making six figures

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

"Golf courses use more water than Al data centers wahblahblah.."

Okay? Fuck golf courses. Turn that land into native pollinator fields and community food gardens. Next.

[Ed Blake @Therealedblake]

Mitch McConnell is the only vegetable the FDA hasn’t recalled

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[pris @pwiscila]

I need to go on a 10-day silent retreat

[Fav @Favwontmiss]

YOU KNOW WHAT KEEPS EVERYONE COOLER IN THE SUMMER? TREES, YOU IDIOTS. GIVE US BACK OUR TREES BACK.

[Softboy @fwsoftboy]

anyone who had a tumblr account from 2010-2014 has a masters degree in social media

[Ariana Jasmine @arianajasmine__]

If the President of the United States just made himself and his entire family immune from IRS audits, then why the FUCK am I paying my taxes???

[Briana Mills, LMFT ♿️🏳️‍🌈🍉 @theBrianaMills]

Say it with me: Disabled people deserve to live even if they can’t work.

[Fav @Favwontmiss]

"I work best under pressure" is ADHD code for "i've spent my entire life unable to start things until the consequences are immediate and catastrophic"

[Rushi @rushicrypto]

“People don’t want to work” has always been a weird argument.

Offer $350K a year to flip burgers and watch how fast applications start pouring in.

The problem isn’t work.

It’s pay.

[masha @masha_slp]

sorry i didn’t text you back, i was pretending i didn’t see it and i ended up actually forgetting

[ash ☼ @crescentmoontea]

I think if someone does this to a house then it should be legal to guillotine them in the town square

[Nat 🦥 @impartialsloth]

@feederofcats Haley Venmo says there’s an error whenever I try to donate to you! Just a heads up!