😈

• certified twitter og •

[😈 @imsplenny]

@Fadi2Hotty *laughs in rich*

[ThemeParkScout @ThemeParkScout]

So… my daughter tried Rollercoaster Tycoon for the first time ever. She made all the rides free so “everyone can ride” because she has a kind heart. Then she ran out of money. She then started charging on everything, including the bathrooms.

Greatest game of all time.

[Rose @aralmond_]

this song came on the radio as i was driving to move into my college dorm. i came over the crest of the hill and saw the university’s water tower as the “find your dreams come true” part started. i then had the worst 4 years of my entire life.

[AymenZero🇩🇿 @AymZerrouki]

got beaten in chess by the same guy 3 times and he kept asking for a rematch

[Liv. 🤍 @OIiviaaaaAAAA]

i truly believe the mario movie voice cast reveal is the best written piece of comedy in history, if the actors were in ANY different order of reveal it simply wouldnt have been as funny

[Jack Posobiec @JackPosobiec]

Lindsay Clancy's lawyer is now screaming at the judge in the courtroom after the judge refused to remove the 1 male juror who is holding out from voting not guilty

[British Intel @TheBritishIntel]

🚨🇺🇸 NYPD SHOOT DEAD KNIFE WOMAN AFTER RANDOM TIMES SQUARE STABBING SPREE

A woman who stabbed two strangers in Times Square, killing one, was shot dead by NYPD officers after advancing on them with two knives.

Pamela Cisneros, 49, pulled two knives from a bag and stabbed a 32-year-old woman, who later died, and a 68-year-old man, in what police called a "random and unprovoked" attack, all within about 20 seconds.

She then fled toward a police substation. Officers spent four minutes ordering her to drop the knives. She refused, reportedly saying "I would rather kill both of you." Tasers failed, and officers opened fire, killing her.

Commissioner Jessica Tisch said officers "did exactly what they're trained to do." Cisneros had a documented mental health history.

[The Refined Populist @RefinedPopulist]

I tried to warn you…

[Lauren Chen @TheLaurenChen]

I'm sadly convinced the Lindsay Clancy verdict is taking so long because the three men on the jury are trying to explain to the nine women that hormones don't excuse triple child murder

[McDonald's @McDonalds]

we’ve truly entered the great Happy Meal era. SpongeBob x One Piece coming 9.15

[ArceusBowser @ArceusBowser212]

what. the. fuck.

they just said ai-generated cp is legal.

[Joeki Agari! (NL Teto Guy from Square Up) @JoeComma292176]

@swagamicchi Much like love, real hatred is not fury condensed in a sprint remembered as dust in the wind, but a lifetime marathon remembered through the tracks left in the stone

[😈 @imsplenny]

@Dexerto

[seb † @doomsupreme_]

bro please I’m sick of his mj dawg

[Matthew Williams @MrPrudentialist]

It's Friday Night

[Καλός @realKalos]

How it feels to work as a coma ward janitor.

[MAGA Elvis 🇺🇸 @BenStanton77]

Shane Gillis in jam wakes up drunk with a lib then meets her friend that's exactly like him. All while he was trying to get the hell out of the house. 🤣☠️

[Sam @samhtfc1907]

someone at snapchat needs to fuck off with all the random notifications

[her @KeybladerHer]

el otro día mi mamá me dijo "por tus actitudes me recordás mucho a tú tío que se terminó matando"